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Why Does He Do That?

Why Does He Do That?

In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.

He says he loves you. So...why does he do that?

 
You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:
 
• The early warning signs of abuse
• The nature of abusive thinking
• Myths about abusers
• Ten abusive personality types
• The role of drugs and alcohol
• What you can fix, and what you can’t
• And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely

“This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

Reviews
  • The closure you never thought you could get

    I cannot articulate how much this book has helped me. Abuse can be extremely insidious and not always overt. This book helps bring a lot clarity to someone who is confused about whether they are being abused in a relationship and explains the simple mechanics behind abusers actions. So often we want closure from someone who will never be able to give it to us. Here is the closure that you need. To victims of abuse:Stop blaming yourself, learn to love yourself more than the relationship, and read and reread this book as often as you need to.

    By I-luv-apps242

  • Great insight

    Really good book, well written, highly recommend for everyone to read. Whether you have been in an abusive relationship or not, it’s good awareness and insight to have towards others around you who may be in abusive relationships.

    By skeepy time

  • Amazing read

    This really clarified abuse for me and helped me understand the mind of an abuser. Well, as well as I am able to. I am excited to implement these tools into my daily life and help my whole family move forward. Thank you so much for this book, it’s a Godsend. I highly recommend you read it whether you suspect or know you are being abused yourself or if there is someone in your life who might be going through this. Highly informative. Again, thank you!!!

    By Lovesdogs52010

  • Must read

    If you’re in a bad situation this book is a must read. It feels so much better to know what is going on and to read the words in a book that are the exact words you have heard from your partner. It will give you strength and clarity.

    By Bhjnmk

  • If you're a Christian, don't read this book

    This book is horrible. Absolutely the worst. The book has no footnotes and is basically all from the perspective of one man who claims to be the authority on abuse. No references to studies done, only his counseling sessions. Your marriage will result in either one partner subjugating the other, or it will end in divorce. My wife was recommended this book by her counselor. She has said I'm abusive and basically told me I have to 'earn' my way back in. I've never physically abused my wife. Ever. We have arguments, and we both must work on communication to rebuild our relationship, but that's not what Lundy says. Lundy says she gets to yell and scream and blame you and the man is suppose to take it. If the roles were reversed and I yelled at her and said she had to take it, the book clearly lays this out as abuse. Lundy also says the man must realize that he owes a 'debt' to her and he must take several years before she can forgive him. Nothing in this book talks about forgiveness. Nothing in this book talks about rebuilding a relationship through healthy boundaries and rebuilding trust. There are things that must be done to resolve physical abuse, and a counselor should be able to give people help here. And I believe in counseling and the help it can provide. But to my Christian brothers and sisters, please be extremely cautious and hesitant to read this book. If your spouse is not physically abusing you, it's important to evaluate whether you have a communication breakdown or actual verbal and emotional abuse. And remember Mark 10:9, Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (I'm looking at you, counsellors who flippantly recommend this book to clients!!) Lastly, if your wife picked up this book, and starts throwing around abuse at you, just remember Christ died for us and he endured greater than this. He knows what you're going through, and he is the ultimate healer. Save yourself heartache, and read 1 Corinthians Ch 13. Endure the pain and damage this horrible book causes and put your trust in Christ. Pray for your spouse. Pray for healing for your spouse and for yourself. Work to correct your own mistakes even if she buys into this book. And work your butt off to love your wife as Christ loves us. And most importantly, DON'T READ THIS GARBAGE BOOK!!!

    By Greysound5

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