Book of Steven Kaplan

The loss of a loved one is often beyond description. There is a void that seems as if it can never be filled. Emotions extend far beyond the limits of “normal” parameters. The total devastation one feels about his or her life seems irreparable. How does one proceed with even a first step when the death occurs? What is a first step? Do I contact my rabbi? Who takes care of the body? How am I supposed to function? These and many other questions consume the survivors, often making it seem as if they are in a maze of confusion that has no way out. It is the purpose of this book to bring light to what seems to be a dark path, and help those in distress understand what is taking place. This is not intended to be the definitive last word on Jewish law and customs about all issues pertaining to mourning. Rather, it is a guide to help the mourner through the difficult times she or he may face.

Judaism is sometimes compared to a smorgasbord. There are a variety of customs, ceremonies, rituals, and traditions from which one may choose. While it is customary for one to follow one’s family tradition and the advice of one’s rabbi, there are still choices the individual can make. These choices generally come from Judaism’s two major traditions: The Sephardic, and the Ashkenazi. There is certainly overlap in prayers and ceremonies, but there are distinct differences as well. In discussing the sections of this work which will be outlined below, Sephardic and Ashkenazi traditions will be presented. Although the actual funeral and burial services are conducted primarily in Hebrew, all material presented here will be in English. Since the goal of this work is to provide education about the various areas discussed, rather than a manual geared toward actually conducting the services, it was felt that English wording would be most useful to the widest readership. One of the most well-known prayers recited by mourners, the Kaddish, is transliterated into English from the Hebrew in the last section of the book, with Sephardic and Ashkenazi variations.