Humor - Books - Smurbo

Big Dumb Eyes

AN INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A #1 TORONTO STAR BESTSELLER AN INSTANT USA TODAY AND INDIE BESTSELLER A GLOBE AND MAIL BESTSELLER From one of the hottest stand-up comedians, Nate Bargatze brings his everyman comedy to the page in this hilarious collection of personal stories, opinions, and confessions. Nate Bargatze used to be a genius. That is, until the summer after seventh grade when he slipped, fell off a cliff, hit his head on a rock, and “my skull got, like, dented or something.” Before this accident, he dreamed of being “an electric engineer, or a doctor that does brain stuff, or a math teacher who teaches the hardest math on earth.” Afterwards, all he could do was stand-up comedy.* But the “brain stuff” industry’s loss is everyone else’s gain because Nate went on to become one of today’s top-grossing comedians, breaking both attendance and streaming records. In his highly anticipated first book, Nate talks about life as a non-genius. From stories about his first car (named Old Blue, a clunky Mazda with a tennis ball stick shift) and his travels as a Southerner (Northerners like to ask if he believes in dinosaurs), to tales of his first apartment where he was almost devoured by rats and his many debates with his wife over his chores, his diet, and even his definition of “shopping.” He also reflects on such heady topics as his irrational passion for Vandy football and the mysterious origins of sushi (how can a California roll come from old-time Japan?). BIG DUMB EYES is full of heart. It will make readers laugh out loud and nod in recognition, but it probably won’t make them think too much. *Nate’s family disputes this entire story.

Everything I Know About Love

New York Times Bestseller Like Bridget Jones’ Diary but all true— a wildly funny, occasionally heartbreaking memoir from the funny, sharp British journalist and podcast host, who Elizabeth Gilbert calls “a sparkling Roman candle of talent.” “The older you get, the more baggage you carry. When you date at twenty-five, everyone walks into the bar with a very neat, light carry-on. When you date from thirty onwards, get ready to meet someone absolutely brimming with history, complications and demands.” When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, writer Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all. In her memoir, she vividly recounts falling in love, finding a job, getting drunk, getting dumped, and that absolutely no one can ever compare to her best girlfriends. Everything I Know About Love is about bad dates, good friends and—above all else— realizing that you are enough. Glittering with wit and insight, heart and humor, Dolly Alderton’s unforgettable debut weaves together personal stories, satirical observations, a series of lists, recipes, and other vignettes that will strike a chord of recognition with women of every age.

Class Clown

America’s most beloved wiseass finally tells his life story with all the humor you’d expect from a man who made a career out of making fun of pretty much everything. How does the son of a Presbyterian minister wind up winning a Pulitzer Prize for writing a wildly inaccurate newspaper column read by millions of people? In Class Clown , Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious ride, starting with a childhood largely spent throwing rocks for entertainment—there was no internet—and preparing for nuclear war by hiding under a classroom desk. After literally getting elected class clown in high school, he went to college, where, as an English major, he read snippets of great literature when he was not busy playing in a rock band (it was the sixties). He began his journalism career at a small-town Pennsylvania newspaper where he learned the most important rule of local journalism: never confuse a goose with a duck. His journey then took a detour into the business world, where as a writing consultant he spent years trying, with limited success, to get corporate folks to, for God’s sake, get the point. Somehow from there he wound up as a humor columnist for The Miami Herald , where his boss was a wild man who encouraged him to write about anything that struck him as amusing and to never worry about alienating anyone. His columns were not popular with everyone: He managed to alienate a vast army of Neil Diamond fans, and the entire state of Indiana. But he also developed a loyal following of readers who alerted him to the threat of exploding toilets, not to mention the fire hazards posed by strawberry pop-tarts and Rollerblade Barbie, which he demonstrated to the nation on the David Letterman show. He led his readers on a crusade against telemarketers that ultimately caused the national telemarketers association to stop answering its own phones because it was getting—irony alert—too many unwanted calls. He has also run for president multiple times, although so far without success. He became a book author and joined a literary rock band, which was not good at playing music but did once perform with Bruce Springsteen, who sang backup to Dave. As for his literary merits, Dave writes: “I’ll never have the critical acclaim of, say, Marcel Proust. But was Marcel Proust ever on Carson? Did he ever steal a hotel sign for Oprah?” Class Clown isn’t just a memoir; it’s a vibrant celebration of a life rich with humor, absurdity, joy, and sadness. Dave says the most important wisdom imparted by his Midwestern parents was never to take anything too seriously. This laughter-filled book is proof that he learned that lesson well.

Steve Martin Writes the Written Word

With an exclusive new introduction and some never-before-published pieces, a collection of greatest hits from one of the most beloved comedians of our time, Steve Martin, now starring in Hulu's Only Murders in the Building. Steve Martin Writes the Written Word is a perfect introduction for new fans and a must-have for longtime fans, showcasing the longevity, range, and—above all—hilarity of the master. Filled with his singular characters and musings--Daniel Pecan Cambridge, a modern-day neurotic yearning to break free in The Pleasure of My Company , to the comedic and heartbreaking relationship between Neiman Marcus shopgirl Mirabelle and businessman Ray Porter in Shopgirl , to meditations on bad neighbors and so much more--this collection shows the breadth of Martin's work, which is bolstered by a mix of brand-new and previously published selections of his writing for the New Yorker's "Shouts & Murmurs" column. A tantalizing page-turner from start to finish that will appeal to a wide range of literary appetites, Steve Martin Writes the Written Word is a brilliant tour through a singular mind.

What in the World?!

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This book is the inspirational story that we all need. No one makes me laugh harder than Leanne Morgan!”—Reese Witherspoon The beloved comedy sensation packs a hilarious punch with real talk about what it’s like to be a woman today—from rebelling against the latest diet trends to dealing with perimenopausal mean girls and attending rock concerts in middle age. For a long time, no one pulling the strings in the comedy world thought that a woman over fifty from rural Tennessee could make it in the industry. But Leanne Morgan has defied the odds, reaching millions with her musings on hormones, low-rise britches, Weight Watchers, and her opposites-attract relationship with her husband, Chuck. In her charming southern accent, Morgan brings readers inside her quest to find her voice after spending many years trying to figure out what that meant. Along the way, we learn how she grew up as a butcher’s daughter, landed a husband with health insurance, honed her stand-up technique selling jewelry at house parties, embraced the glories of aging, and surrendered to the comfort of wearing big flesh-toned panties. Equal parts warm and hilarious, this book is a must-read by one of comedy’s rising stars—reminding you that every time life leaves you asking “What in the world?!,” something good is bound to come out of it someday.

How to Giggle

An instant New York Times bestseller, How to Giggle is “honest, hectic, and always hilarious” (Amy Poehler) advice on how to take life a little bit less seriously from the hosts and best friends of the Giggly Squad podcast, Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo. Finding joy and laughter in the mundane can be challenging at times, but Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo have mastered the art of not taking life too seriously. Brought together under the bright lights of reality television, these best friends quickly realized that one of the bedrocks of their friendship is their shared experience with social anxiety. As their friendship deepened, they found themselves constantly devolving into laughter, earning them the nickname “The Giggly Squad,” and with that, their superpower—laughing through life’s hardest moments—was born. How to Giggle feels like you’re at a slumber party with your besties giving you juicy advice on sex, flirting, and social media etiquette. You’ll find interactive quizzes, and tips like finding your personal style and wellness hacks. If you’re a longtime Giggler or are simply craving some unfiltered advice to get you through hard times, look no further than How to Giggle and the topics it covers like: -Overcoming awkward situations -Red flags in female friendships and romantic relationships -Using delusion and manifestation to achieve your goals -Decentering men from your life -And more!

SNAFU

A New York Times Bestseller From actor, comedian, writer, and host of the hit history podcast SNAFU, Ed Helms brings you an absurdly entertaining look at history’s biggest blunders, complete with lively illustrations. History contains a plethora of insane screwups—otherwise known as SNAFUs. Coined during World War I, SNAFU is an acronym that stands for Situation Normal: All F*cked Up. In other words, “things are pretty screwed up, but aren’t they always?” Spanning from the 1950’s to the present day, SNAFU features Ed Helms as unofficial history teacher with a loving tribute to humanity's finest face-plants, diving into each decade’s craziest SNAFUs. From planting nukes on the moon to training felines as CIA spies to weaponizing the weather, this book unpacks the incredibly ironic decision-making and hilariously terrifying aftermath of America’s biggest mishaps. Filled with sharp humor and lively illustrations, SNAFU is a wild ride through time that covers the head-scratching and occasionally inspiring blunders that have shaped our world and made historians spit-take. They're the kinds of stories that not only entertain but offers fresh insights that just might prevent history from repeating itself again and again.

How to Piss Off Men

AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER BE NO MAN'S PEACE. Have you ever been badgered by an annoying pick-up artist at the bar? Ever felt a burning desire to emotionally torture a friend’s boyfriend in an act of revenge? Have you ever endured just talking to a man before? If so, then this book is for you. With more than 100 phrases, questions, and comebacks, How to Piss Off Men is your essential guide to sending even the most relentless mansplainer into an existential crisis. Whether it’s referring to his expensive NFL jersey as “cosplay” or letting him know he has the confidence of a much taller man, this handbook will ensure you’re equipped to combat toxic masculinity in any situation.* * The advice in this book has been thoroughly tested for effectiveness. Even on the author, bless his heart.

How to Be Perfect

From the creator of The Good Place and the cocreator of Parks and Recreation , a hilarious, thought-provoking guide to living an ethical life, drawing on 2,400 years of deep thinking from around the world. Most people think of themselves as “good,” but it’s not always easy to determine what’s “good” or “bad”—especially in a world filled with complicated choices and pitfalls and booby traps and bad advice. Fortunately, many smart philosophers have been pondering this conundrum for millennia and they have guidance for us. With bright wit and deep insight, How to Be Perfect explains concepts like deontology, utilitarianism, existentialism, ubuntu, and more so we can sound cool at parties and become better people. Schur starts off with easy ethical questions like “Should I punch my friend in the face for no reason?” (No.) and works his way up to the most complex moral issues we all face. Such as: Can I still enjoy great art if it was created by terrible people? How much money should I give to charity? Why bother being good at all when there are no consequences for being bad? And much more. By the time the book is done, we’ll know exactly how to act in every conceivable situation, so as to produce a verifiably maximal amount of moral good. We will be perfect, and all our friends will be jealous. OK, not quite. Instead, we’ll gain fresh, funny, inspiring wisdom on the toughest issues we face every day.

The Fran Lebowitz Reader

In the vein of Lebowitz's acclaimed Netflix limited series, Pretend It's a City — The Fran Lebowitz Reader brings together two of the famed author's bestsellers, Metropolitan Life and Social Studies. In "elegant, finely honed prose" ( The Washington Post Book World ), Lebowitz limns the vicissitudes of contemporary urban life—its fads, trends, crazes, morals, and fashions. By turns ironic, facetious, deadpan, sarcastic, wry, wisecracking, and waggish, Fran Lebowitz is always wickedly entertaining.

Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

A guy walks into a bar car and... From here the story could take many turns. When this guy is David Sedaris, the possibilities are endless, but the result is always the same: he will both delight you with twists of humor and intelligence and leave you deeply moved. Sedaris remembers his father's dinnertime attire (shirtsleeves and underpants), his first colonoscopy (remarkably pleasant), and the time he considered buying the skeleton of a murdered Pygmy. With Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls , David Sedaris shows once again why his work has been called "hilarious, elegant, and surprisingly moving" ( Washington Post ).

Calypso

David Sedaris returns with his most deeply personal and darkly hilarious book. If you've ever laughed your way through David Sedaris's cheerfully misanthropic stories, you might think you know what you're getting with Calypso. You'd be wrong. When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself. With Calypso, Sedaris sets his formidable powers of observation toward middle age and mortality. Make no mistake: these stories are very, very funny--it's a book that can make you laugh 'til you snort, the way only family can. Sedaris's powers of observation have never been sharper, and his ability to shock readers into laughter unparalleled. But much of the comedy here is born out of that vertiginous moment when your own body betrays you and you realize that the story of your life is made up of more past than future. This is beach reading for people who detest beaches, required reading for those who loathe small talk and love a good tumor joke. Calypso is simultaneously Sedaris's darkest and warmest book yet--and it just might be his very best.

Go the F**k to Sleep

The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the F**k to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

Do You Want to Play With My Balls?

Every now and then there comes a book that awakens the spirit of childlike joy and laughter in young and old alike. Do You Want To Play With My Balls? is just that kind of book, full of innocence and irreverence, and sure to make every member of your family vomit with glee.

Karlology

Take a gleeful voyage with famed English comedian Karl Pilkington as he embarks on a quest for knowledge. Karl's logic might be what some call . . . eccentric. For instance, he believes that owning 1,777 acres of the moon is a splendid idea, and that human testicles should be relocated to one’s earlobes. In his thirst for deeper understanding, he undergoes a brain scan and attempts to join Mensa. This hysterical book includes pearls of wisdom from famous comedians Ricky Gervais, Russell Brand, Noel Fielding, and more! Is Karl destined to discover a new truth, or is he headed for a descent into madness? You decide. “. . . hilarious pearls of wisdom on life.”— Heat “Genius or mental case? Prepare to be amazed.”— Esquire

The Height of Rudeness

In this short e-original The Height of Rudeness, readers will get 5 essays - one never-before-published and 4 "sneak peeks" at the kind of manners advice Celia Rivenbark will be dishing up in her upcoming etiquette book RUDE BITCHES MAKE ME TIRED. Have you been "wait-listed" for your friend's wedding? Or, worse, have you been told, via engraved stationery, that you should "Please don't save the date"? This odious and ill-mannered trend must stop! How did it start? How should we cope with such an audacious display of asshattery? Leave it to Mama Celia to help in times like these. And a word of warning to brides-to-be? Quit showing off your engagement bling to your Facebook friends. They all expect to be invited and they're already shopping for Soda Streams.

Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry exposes the shattering truth. Whether he's splashing with the U.S. sychronized swim team ("Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow") or reliving the Pilgrims' first Thanksgiving ("We've decided to obliterate your culture, but first may we try the stuffing?"), Dave Barry proves that one man can make a difference--by having the guts to answer the questions few people bother to ask: ¸ What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting? ¸ Where do the World's Three Most Boring People meet? ¸ Why is Colorado freezing so many human gonads? ¸ And just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?

Mindsploitation

There are hundreds of online companies that will do your homework for you – at a price. But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY. What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.

Too Young to be Old: from Clapham to Kathmandu

"…a hilarious memoir about enlightenment and old age…" "…a superb lead-in to Frank's travel memoirs proper…" "…honest, whimsical, and keenly observing…" "…Frank is a wonderful story-teller, I really warmed to him…" As Frank Kusy turns 27 he is unexpectedly put in charge of an old people's home in Clapham, South London. Driven to distraction by a crazy cast of characters he seeks solace in Buddhism, only to find himself up to his ears in plasticine pigs and marathon chanting sessions. Will he make his mum happy by holding down a 'proper' job? Will he make her unhappy by becoming a writer? Will he get to share cheese sandwiches with Kevin in Kathmandu? And will he be forced to exchange his underpants in Japan?

Waiting for the Miracle

'I laughed. I cried. I laughed again' Sinéad Moriarty 'An enthralling read with . . . so many laughs along the way' Liz Nugent 'A funny , poignant and moving read' My Weekly From bestselling Irish writer Anna McPartlin, Waiting for the Miracle is an uplifting novel about how good friends can help you see the funny side of life, even in the darkest of days. Perfect for fans of Sheila O'Flanagan and Marian Keyes. 2010 Caroline can't get pregnant, Janet can't hold a pregnancy, Natalie's sperm donor is a stoner with a bad attitude and Ronnie is, well, no one knows Ronnie's story. When the women meet in an infertility group, they quickly form a firm - if slightly odd - friendship and their lives begin to change. 1976 When 16-year-old Catherine's pregnancy is revealed, she's sent to a convent to give birth. Her baby is taken from her, and she re-emerges into the world, down but not out, determined to fight back. She finds work, a home and acceptance with gay hairdresser and fellow outsider and her life begins again. Waiting for the Miracle is story about finding your tribe, at any age. It's about love, loss, friendship and laughing at yourself. It's about life. 'Takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions...you'll be laughing through your tears at the sharp and funny dialogue' NFOP magazine Praise for Anna McPartlin: 'Anna McPartlin's novel is brilliant, funny and immensely moving' Catherine Isaac, author of You, Me, Everything 'It's such a gorgeous examination of grief while also being honest, hilarious and totally relatable . I LOVED this book!' Fionnuala Kearney, author of The Book of Love 'When I wasn't reaching for the Kleenex to wipe away a little tear, I was guffawing with laughter - Anna has the gift of being able to make you laugh and sob, and all on a single page. ' Claudia Carroll, author of The Women of Primrose Square Readers love Waiting for the Miracle : 'Who will have the happy ever after dream and who will settle for the dream never happening? I raced though it in 2 days to find out. I particularly loved the flitting between current day and the character Catherine's story from the past and was eager to see how the 2 would come together. Wrap yourself up in a duvet and start reading. You won't be disappointed.' 'You will be gripped by both stories and wonder where the book is going ... but it gets better and better.' 'Loved loved loved it! As always an amazing story with real life issues, read it in 3 days couldn't put it down going to work was a bit of inconvenience lol can't wait for the next one, thanks Anna' 'Another emotional rollercoaster read about loss, hope, courage & friendship, I was hooked right from the very start, I loved how the story changed between current day and the past with Catherine's story, have your tissues ready.' 'Didn't want it to end.' 'McPartlin excels in the one-liner, and finding something to laugh about in the darkest of times.' 'I do not hesitate to recommend this magnificent book to everyone. Sure to be in my top books of this year.' 'A story of hope over heartbreak told with Irish humour and charm.' 'Anna McPartlin has done it again! Another stunning read that ends with me in tears yet also smiling.'

How To

AN INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “How To will make you laugh as you learn…With How To , you can't help but appreciate the glorious complexity of our universe and the amazing breadth of humanity's effort to comprehend it. If you want some lightweight edification, you won't go wrong with How To .” — CNET “[ How To ] has science and jokes in it, so 10/10 can recommend.” —Simone Giertz The world's most entertaining and useless self-help guide from the brilliant mind behind the wildly popular webcomic xkcd, the bestsellers What If? and Thing Explainer , and What If? 2, coming September 13, 2022 For any task you might want to do, there's a right way, a wrong way, and a way so monumentally complex, excessive, and inadvisable that no one would ever try it. How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole. Bestselling author and cartoonist Randall Munroe explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a 90's kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and powering your house by destroying the fabric of space-time. And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun. By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe doesn't just make things difficult for himself and his readers. As he did so brilliantly in What If? , Munroe invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible. Full of clever infographics and fun illustrations, How To is a delightfully mind-bending way to better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day.

I Feel Bad About My Neck

#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A candid, hilarious look at women of a certain age and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself. “Wickedly witty ... Crackling sharp ... Fireworks shoot out [of this collection].” — The Boston Globe With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as an older woman. Utterly courageous, uproariously funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a scrumptious, irresistible treat of a book, full of truths, laugh out loud moments that will appeal to readers of all ages.

Best. State. Ever.

A brilliantly funny exploration of the Sunshine State from the man who knows it best: Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times –bestselling author Dave Barry. We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, “What the hell is wrong with Florida?” Somehow, the state’s acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why. Join him as he celebrates Florida from Key West at the bottom to whatever it is that’s at the top, from the Sunshine State’s earliest history to the fun-fair of weirdness that it is today. It’s the most hilarious book yet from “the funniest damn writer in the whole country” (Carl Hiaasen, and he should know). By the end, you’ll have to admit that whatever else you might think about Florida—you can never say it’s boring.

A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again

These widely acclaimed essays from the author of Infinite Jest -- on television, tennis, cruise ships, and more -- established David Foster Wallace as one of the preeminent essayists of his generation. In this exuberantly praised book -- a collection of seven pieces on subjects ranging from television to tennis, from the Illinois State Fair to the films of David Lynch, from postmodern literary theory to the supposed fun of traveling aboard a Caribbean luxury cruiseliner -- David Foster Wallace brings to nonfiction the same curiosity, hilarity, and exhilarating verbal facility that has delighted readers of his fiction, including the bestselling Infinite Jest .

They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?

With tongue pressed firmly in cheek and a gentle but penetrating eye for human foibles, Patrick F. McManus celebrates the hidden pleasures, unappreciated lore, and opportunities for disaster to be found in the recreations of camping, hunting, and fishing in his hilarious collection They Shoot Canoes, Don’t They ? Gathered here for the reader’s edification are such treasures as the true but little known story of the discovery of the efficacy of live bait by Genghis Khan’s chef, an examination of the precarious and perhaps fanatical expertise required for ice fishing, and a consideration of the circumstances that can cause a deer to ride a bicycle. Among additional topics explored are The Crouch Hop and Other Useful Outdoor Steps, The Sensuous Angler, and Psychic Powers for Outdoorsmen. Included, too, is The Hunter’s Dictionary, an invaluable lexicon that helps the novice sportsman understand such arcane terminology as “Ooooooeee-ah-ah-ah! (If there’s one thing I hate, it’s putting on cold, wet pants in the morning)” and “Baff mast pime ig bead feas mid miff pife! (That’s the last time I try to eat peas in the dark with my hunting knife!)” The author’s appreciation of outdoor life began in his early boyhood, when he absorbed a wealth of improbable information imparted by the old woodsman Rancid Crabtree, “who bathed only on leap years.” Young McManus also enjoyed special adventures with his ill-remembered sidekick, Retch Sweeney, and another boon companion of days gone by, the loquacious family dog, Strange, whose exploits as a hunter were limited to assaulting stray chickens and on one memorable occasion a skunk. “McManus here follows up A Fine and Pleasant Misery with a collection of sketches that launches him into the front ranks of outdoor humorists.”— Library Journal

The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons

This monumental, two-volume, slip-cased collection includes nearly 10 decades worth of New Yorker cartoons selected and organized by subject with insightful commentary by Bob Mankoff and a foreword by David Remnick. The is the most ingenious collection of New Yorker cartoons published in book form, The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons is a prodigious, slip-cased, two-volume, 1,600-page A-to-Z curation of cartoons from the magazine from 1924 to the present. Mankoff -- for two decades the cartoon editor of the New Yorker -- organizes nearly 3,000 cartoons into more than 250 categories of recurring New Yorker themes and visual tropes, including cartoons on banana peels, meeting St. Peter, being stranded on a desert island, snowmen, lion tamers, Adam and Eve, the Grim Reaper, and dogs, of course. The result is hilarious and Mankoff's commentary throughout adds both depth and whimsy. The collection also includes a foreword by New Yorker editor David Remnick. This is stunning gift for the millions of New Yorker readers and anyone looking for some humor in the evolution of social commentary.

Me Talk Pretty One Day

A new collection from David Sedaris is cause for jubilation. His recent move to Paris has inspired hilarious pieces, including Me Talk Pretty One Day, about his attempts to learn French. His family is another inspiration. You Cant Kill the Rooster is a portrait of his brother who talks incessant hip-hop slang to his bewildered father. And no one hones a finer fury in response to such modern annoyances as restaurant meals presented in ludicrous towers and cashiers with 6-inch fingernails. Compared by The New Yorker to Twain and Hawthorne, Sedaris has become one of our best-loved authors. Sedaris is an amazing reader whose appearances draw hundreds, and his performancesincluding a jaw-dropping impression of Billie Holiday singing I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weinerare unforgettable. Sedariss essays on living in Paris are some of the funniest hes ever written. At last, someone even meaner than the French! The sort of blithely sophisticated, loopy humour that might have resulted if Dorothy Parker and James Thurber had had a love child. Entertainment Weekly on Barrel Fever Sidesplitting Not one of the essays in this new collection failed to crack me up; frequently I was helpless. The New York Times Book Review on Naked

The Eltingville Club

Take-no-prisoners trivia-offs. Pill-fueled Twilight Zone marathons. Fan interventions. Here is the ultimate word on the fugly side of fandom, collecting every Eltingville story from the Dork, House of Fun , and The Eltingville Club #1-2 , comics three of which won the Eisner Award for Best Short Story. Also features the Northwest Comix Collective alt-comics smackdown and an afterword about the 2002 Adult Swim animated pilot. Definitive, complete and unashamed, this is fandom at it's fan-dumbest, in the mighty Eltingville manner!

My Diarrhe

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Selp-Helf comes the “leaked” diary of YouTube comedic personality Miranda Sings. Taped together so the world can read all about her life through her eyes, My Diarrhe includes pages from Miranda’s baby book, poems from her years as an emotional teen, secrets from her dating life, and stories from her rise to fame. As Miranda herself says, “It has every single secret about my life in it. My first kiss, my first period, stories about secret family members, secret photos of other celebrities, etc... so don’t read it!”

El Libro De Los Piropos

Una divertida, y ocurrente selección de piropos y frases para conquistar, seducir y divertir. En este libro encontrarás un compendio con más de 1000 piropos para todos los gustos y situaciones, piropos románticos, bonitos, originales, picantes, divertidos e inteligentes para todas las parejas y orientaciones sexuales Se recomienda leer el libro, aprenderte unas algunos frases y piropos y practicarlas para cuando llegue la persona de tus sueños. Verás de inmediato su poder. También encontrarás piropos para calentar, jugar y divertirte con tu pareja. No dejes que el aburrimiento y la cotidianeidad arruinen tu pareja, nada mejor que unas dulces, divertidas o vulgares piropos para divertirse y encender la chispa del amor. Descubre el arte de Piropear es un arte En el arte del piropeo se vale cualquier cosa, desde frases románticas extremadamente cursis, exageraciones ridículas, frases ingeniosas, divertidas o incluso groseras y vulgares, con el fin de sacarle una sonrisa.. Debemos saber que, el piropo causa mayor efecto cuando no se lo espera. Juega con la sorpresa, la verdad y la picardía. El piropo es el arma del amante atrevido e insolente que diría cualquier cosa con tal de robarle una sonrisa a su amante y hacerla feliz, aunque sea por un momento. El piropo es el arte de la palabra justa en el momento justo . Esperamos que este libro sea una fuente de inspiración para toda aquella persona que desea alegrarle la vida a su pareja, y recordarle inesperadamente lo bella y especial que es.

The Best of Me

“Genius… It is miraculous to read these pieces… You must read The Best of Me .” —Andrew Sean Greer, New York Times Book Review A New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice A CNN and Christian Science Monitor Best Book of the Month For more than twenty-five years, David Sedaris has been carving out a unique literary space, virtually creating his own genre. A Sedaris story may seem confessional, but is also highly attuned to the world outside. It opens our eyes to what is at absurd and moving about our daily existence. And it is almost impossible to read without laughing. Now, for the first time collected in one volume, the author brings us his funniest and most memorable work. In these stories, Sedaris shops for rare taxidermy, hitchhikes with a lady quadriplegic, and spits a lozenge into a fellow traveler’s lap. He drowns a mouse in a bucket, struggles to say “give it to me” in five languages, and hand-feeds a carnivorous bird. But if all you expect to find in Sedaris’s work is the deft and sharply observed comedy for which he became renowned, you may be surprised to discover that his words bring more warmth than mockery, more fellow-feeling than derision. Nowhere is this clearer than in his writing about his loved ones. In these pages, Sedaris explores falling in love and staying together, recognizing his own aging not in the mirror but in the faces of his siblings, losing one parent and coming to terms—at long last—with the other. Taken together, the stories in The Best of Me reveal the wonder and delight Sedaris takes in the surprises life brings him. No experience, he sees, is quite as he expected—it’s often harder, more fraught, and certainly weirder—but sometimes it is also much richer and more wonderful. Full of joy, generosity, and the incisive humor that has led David Sedaris to be called “the funniest man alive” ( Time Out New York ), The Best of Me spans a career spent watching and learning and laughing—quite often at himself—and invites readers deep into the world of one of the most brilliant and original writers of our time.

Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons

Now available for the first time as an e-book! In Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons, Calvin suffers a host of hardships. He gets attacked by his new two-wheeler bike. Hobbes gets kidnapped by Susie, a slimy girl. His father cancels Calvin's personal TV network. Self-multiplying deranged mutant killer monster snow goons threaten to take over the yard. And if that wasn't enough, the ethicated duplicate of Calvin's good side wreaks havoc with his reputation by doing good deeds. Yet Calvin conquers all with his irrepressible spirit and a little help from alter-egos Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, and Tracer Bullet, private eye. Readers are delighted by Calvin's resourceful wit, which applies to everything from philosophical speculations to attempts to outsmart his parents.

Your Mom's Gonna Love Me

One part memoir, one part comedy special, one part crazy first date. Just you and Matt between the covers. What could be better? Matt Rife is well aware that he’s both the most loved and the most controversial comic in America today. And honestly, he thinks that’s your problem. Matt reveals (without apology, of course) what led him to becoming comedy’s biggest lightning rod before he reached thirty, in a story full of bold and hysterical takes on everything from Justin Bieber tramp stamps and rap battles with ex-cons to Matt’s struggles with depression and his many brushes with failure before finally hitting it big. Born in trashy backwoods Ohio, Matt was saved by his foul-mouthed but loving grandpa Steve, who fostered his passion for standup. He started hitting comedy clubs before he could even drink, cutting his teeth in front of crowds who dared him to succeed. Matt honed a brand of razor-sharp, brutally honest standup that took no prisoners—and took him to the most famous stages of Atlanta and LA before he graduated high school. Along the way, he broke the hearts of MILFs everywhere, finally hit puberty at the ripe age of twenty-two, and never, ever backed down. Full of Matt opening up, at his unfiltered best, about his life for the very first time, this book will give his millions of fans everything they want and more—and might even get his insecure enemies to change their minds.

Idiot

From nationally bestselling author, YouTube star, and Facebook Video sensation Laura Clery comes a collection of comedic essays that paint “an honest, complicated portrait of how your life can change” ( SheKnows ). Laura Clery makes a living by sharing inappropriate comedy sketches with millions of strangers on the internet. She writes songs about her anatomy, talks trash about her one-eyed rescue pug, and sexually harasses her husband, Stephen. And it pays the bills! Now, in her first-ever book, Laura recounts how she went from being a dangerously impulsive, broke, unemployable, suicidal, cocaine-addicted narcissist, crippled by fear and hopping from one toxic romance to the next…to a more-happy-than-not, somewhat rational, meditating, vegan yogi with good credit, a great marriage, a fantastic career, and four unfortunate-looking rescue animals. Still, above all, Laura remains an amazingly talented, adorable, and vulnerable, self-described… Idiot . With her signature brand of offbeat, no-holds-barred humor, Idiot introduces you to a wildly original—and undeniably relatable—new voice.

Assholes Finish First

The best gift for the dudes and bros in your life: the fratire New York Times bestseller Assholes Finish First , featuring twenty-five new and exclusive stories by Tucker Max. What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you’ve got another bestselling book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to “some next-level shit.” You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: • What’s it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? • What does it do to a man to watch a nineteen-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? • At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? • When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name on her body, what is the appropriate reaction? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an a*****e.

Hyperbole and a Half

#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

David Sedaris plays in the snow with his sisters. He goes on vacation with his family. He gets a job selling drinks. He attends his brother's wedding. He mops his sister's floor. He gives directions to a lost traveler. He eats a hamburger. He has his blood sugar tested. It all sounds so normal, doesn't it? In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives -- a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.

It's a Magical World

Calvin fans will be able to see their favorite mischief maker stir it up with his furry friend, long-suffering parents, classmate Susie Derkins, school teacher Miss Wormwood, and Rosalyn the baby-sitter. It's a Magical World includes full-color Sundays and has it all: Calvin-turned-firefly waking Hobbes with his flashlight glow; courageous Spaceman Spiff rocketing through alien galaxies as he battles Dad-turned-Bug-Being; and Calvin's always inspired snowman art. There's no better way for Watterson fans to savor again the special qualities of their favorite strip. • Includes strips from March 20, 1995 to December 31, 1995 (final strip).

The Peter Principle

The classic #1 New York Times bestseller that answers the age-old question Why is incompetence so maddeningly rampant and so vexingly triumphant? The Peter Principle, the eponymous law Dr. Laurence J. Peter coined, explains that everyone in a hierarchy—from the office intern to the CEO, from the low-level civil servant to a nation’s president—will inevitably rise to his or her level of incompetence. Dr. Peter explains why incompetence is at the root of everything we endeavor to do—why schools bestow ignorance, why governments condone anarchy, why courts dispense injustice, why prosperity causes unhappiness, and why utopian plans never generate utopias. With the wit of Mark Twain, the psychological acuity of Sigmund Freud, and the theoretical impact of Isaac Newton, Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull’s The Peter Principle brilliantly explains how incompetence and its accompanying symptoms, syndromes, and remedies define the world and the work we do in it.

No Pun Intended

No Pun Intended by Will Livingston is a delightful book that is sure to tickle the funny bone of any reader. This book is a collection of hilarious puns, wordplays, and witty jokes that will leave you laughing out loud. Whether you're looking for a great gift for Mother's Day or Teacher Appreciation Day, No Pun Intended is the perfect choice. It's a fun and entertaining read that will brighten anyone's day and bring a smile to their face. This book is filled with clever puns that are sure to make you laugh and think at the same time. With its playful language and clever humor, No Pun Intended is a great way to take a break from the stresses of everyday life and just have a good time. The author, Will Livingston, is a master of wordplay and has created a collection of puns that will leave you rolling with laughter. His unique sense of humor is perfect for anyone who loves clever jokes and puns. Overall, No Pun Intended is a wonderful book that is perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh. Whether you're looking for a gift for your mom, teacher, or just want to treat yourself to a fun read, this book is sure to please. So, grab a copy today and get ready to laugh!

Stay Hungry

From comedian and actor Sebastian Maniscalco—star of the film About My Father with Robert DeNiro—an inspiring, honest, uproarious collection of essays tracing his career from playing boxing rings and bowling alleys to reaching the pinnacles of comedy success. At twenty-four, Sebastian Maniscalco arrived in LA with a suitcase and saved up minimum wages. He knew no one and nothing about standup comedy, but he was determined to go for it anyway. Two decades later, he’s on the Forbes ’ list of highest earning comedians, selling out arenas, and starring in numerous hit comedy specials including Why Would You Do That? and Is It Me? . Stay Hungry tells the story of the twenty years in between. On the way from clueless rube to standup superstar, Seb was booed off stages; survived on tips and stolen food; got advice from mentors Andrew Dice Clay, Vince Vaughn, Tony Danza, and Jerry Seinfeld; fell in love; and stayed true to his Italian-immigrant roots. The one code that always kept him going: stay hungry, keep focused, never give up, and one day, you’ll make it.

Dave Barry Slept Here

“What caused the American Revolution? This is indeed a rhetorical question that for many years historians have begun chapters with. As well they should. For the American Revolution is without a doubt the single most important historical event to occur in this nation except of course for Super Bowl III (Jets 16. Colts 7. This historian won $35).” So goes the skewed sensibility, the muddied mind, the bent pen of one of America's funniest writers, Dave Barry. This time his subject is U.S. history, the way it's never been told before. Every single momentous event and crucial moment is covered, including . . . • The Birthing Contractions of a Nation • Kicking Some British Butt • Barging Westward • The Forging of a Large, Wasteful Bureaucracy • Deep Economic Doo-doo • The Fifties: Peace, Prosperity, Brain Death . . . and right up through the scintillating Reagan-Bush years, during which, Mr. Barry notes, America is steadfastly Napping Toward Glory. If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that “the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have a right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty,” Dave Barry Slept Here is the book you've been waiting for since 1776. Or at least since Super Bowl III. Praise for Dave Barry Slept Here “A dazzling performance . . . Barry is brilliant.” — The Washington Post Book World “[Dave] Barry turns his formidable wit to the subject of American history, with a result reminiscent of the Reduced Shakespeare Company: The better you know the original, the funnier it gets.” — Los Angeles Times “I fear that Mr. Barry's dream of making millions of dollars through mass sales of his book to a captive audience of innocent schoolchildren will not be realized, and he will have to be content with making readers laugh a lot, as this one did.” — The New York Times Book Review

Everything Reminds Me of Something

As seen on Hannity! The bestselling comedian returns to respond and rant on real questions about life and love, careers and cars, and everything else from fans and famous friends. Ever wonder what you would say or do if you didn’t give a f**k? Adam Carolla can tell you. In his sixth book, the comedian, podcaster, and provocateur does what he does best—doles out advice and opinions with utter disregard for our politically correct, self-righteous, virtue signaling, woke times. Thanks to decades of hosting MTV and radio’s Loveline, his Guinness World Record–breaking podcast and touring the stand-up circuit, no one in comedy is as gifted at thinking on their feet. Taking actual questions from his fans—and even some celebrity friends, including Ray Romano, Maria Menounos, and Judd Apatow—Adam dishes out hilarious rants, unpredictable tangents, brilliant inventions, sage advice, and controversial opinions in a way only a self-proclaimed a*****e can.

Into the Twilight, Endlessly Grousing

Like Twain -- or more contemporary humorists Dave Barry and Garrison Keillor -- Patrick McManus shares the belief that life's eternal verities exist primarily to be overturned. In McManus's world, all steaks should be chicken-fried, strong coffee is drunk by the light of a campfire, and fishing trips consist of men acting like boys and boys behaving like the small animals we've always assumed they were. In this, the tenth hilarious collection of his adventures, wry observations, and curmudgeonly calls for bigger and bigger fish stories, McManus takes on everything from an Idaho crime wave to his friend Dolph's atomic-powered huckleberry picker to the uncertain joys of standing waist-deep in icy water, watching the fish go by.

Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • You can't make this stuff up. Dave Barry wouldn't lie—and here are the real life, laugh-out-loud stories from across America to prove it. Get up-close with Dave as he examines UFO thrillseekers and Elvis-worshippers, plays lead guitar with a horrifying rock band that includes Stephen King, and swears to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in stories like these: • a U.S. Supreme Court justice shares his remedy for preventing gas ("I had not realized that this was a matter of concern in the highest levels of government") • a newspaper headline in Ohio announces the combustibility of strawberry Pop-Tarts ("A story that can really help you gain a better understanding of how you can be killed by breakfast snack food") • a frightening fact that snakes have mastered the pipelines leading directly to your toilet—and they're not shy ("Many women might view this as a fair punishment for all the billions of times that guys have left the seat up"). "Barry is at his best." —The Baltimore Sun "He zaps the funny bone." —The Cincinnati Post

The Awful German Language

“ The Awful German Language ” is a humorous examination of the German language and the frustrations a native English speaker may have when learning it. The essay was published as Appendix D of “ A Tramp Abroad ” by Mark Twain in 1880.

Eccentric Glamour

Glamorous eccentrics are irresistible people. They are irreverent, occasionally impertinent, a tad mysterious, charming, often self-invented, good at applying eyeliner, and above all nonconformist. They are a fabulous confection of style, self-empowerment, and black patent sling backs. Everyone wants to be one, but how? Ubiquitous style guru Simon Doonan has the answer. By no means a typical how-to manual, Eccentric Glamour is a mixture of cultural commentary and personal disclosure, generously seasoned with gushings of wildly dictatorial, provocative, and reckless style advice. Through cautionary tales and inspirational examples, Doonan shows how to develop your own brand of eccentric glamour -- by magnifying everything that is already unique and idiosyncratic about you. In these comic essays, interspersed with one-on-one interviews with some of the world's most glamorous eccentrics (including Iman, Lucy Liu, Tilda Swinton, Malcolm Gladwell, and many more), Simon Doonan offers the women of America an alternative to the cheapness and tackiness that currently pass for personal style. Eccentric Glamour is intended as an antidote to the epidemic of slutty dressing and porno-chic that has taken over since the arrival of Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith (may she rest in peace). While the typical TV boobs 'n' Botox makeovers force every woman to look the same, the transformations this book strives to inspire are the very opposite. Dressing like a ho is not just bad taste but boring! In Simon Doonan's book, conformity is the only crime and dressing down the only faux pas. Eccentric Glamour is every woman's birthright. SO SAY NO TO HO! ...and yes to ECCENTRIC GLAMOUR!

The Things You Don't Know You Don't Know

Comedic musings from actor/comedian Harland Williams

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Laughter Is the Best Medicine

Chicken Soup for the Soul’s first-ever humor collection, and the timing is perfect. This is storytelling at its funniest. If laughter is the best medicine, then this book is your prescription. Turn off the news and spend a few days not following current events. Instead, return to the basics—humanity’s ability to laugh at itself. Maybe you should even do a news cleanse for a few days! Hide under the covers and read these stories instead. Or read a chapter a day, or a story a day for 101 days. These pages contain the antidote to whatever is troubling you. They will definitely put you in a good mood. No one is safe from our writers— from spouses to parents to children to colleagues and friends. And of course the funniest of all are the stories they tell about their own mishaps and those “most embarrassing moments.” There’s no holding anything back in these pages, so prepare for lots of good, clean (and not so clean) fun.

How to Avoid Making Art

In How to Avoid Making Art , the bestselling author of The Artist's Way delivers a (tongue-in-cheek!) guide to doing anything and everything you possibly can to avoid making art. Anyone who is engaged in a creative pursuit will no doubt identify with these wonderful cartoons by award-winning artist Elizabeth Cameron of creative wannabes doing everything except actually getting down to work. "For most people creativity is a serious business," says Julia Cameron. "They forget the telling phrase 'the play of ideas' and think that they need to knuckle down and work more. Often, the reverse is true. They need to play." Ultimately, the characters in this book show us how we can turn our procrastination into play and our play into great work. With this delightful volume, Julia Cameron once again hits the nail on the head on the subject of creativity.

I Exaggerate

You may know Kevin Nealon as a celebrated comedian and Saturday Night Live alum—but he also happens to be a talented caricature artist. In I Exaggerate: My Brushes with Fame , comedian and actor Kevin Nealon shares original full-color caricatures and funny, endearing personal essays about his famous friends. Alongside his portraits and doodles from script margins and cocktail napkins, Nealon takes readers through his memories of everything from the set of Saturday Night Live with Chris Farley and Dana Carvey to his idolization of James Taylor, the eulogy he gave at his dear friend Garry Shandling’s funeral, and much more. Part memoir, part coffee table book, this is a charming and gorgeously illustrated project from a comedy all-star that is sure to delight. Caricatures in this book include: Hollywood megastars like Jim Carrey, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Jennifer Aniston Funny people like Steve Martin, Chris Rock, and David Letterman Music icons like Billie Eilish, Lady Gaga, and Tom Petty And many more! “The caricatures are a joy to look at, each capturing the spirit of the subject in a way that only a skilled artist—and a person with keen observational skills—could produce.”—AP

Dad Jokes: The Priceless Edition

THE PERFECT FATHER'S DAY GIFT THE FIFTH COLLECTION FROM THE INSTAGRAM SENSATION @DADSAYSJOKES Q: What do cars spread on their toast? A: Traffic jam. The hit Instagram page @DadSaysJokes returns with an all-new batch of hilarious dad jokes to share with friends and family. Back by popular demand, with hundreds of gags for every occasion, Dad Jokes: The Priceless Edition is the perfect gift for Father's Day, birthdays, Christmastime and beyond. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with more than 8 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added 15 platforms including @pubity, the global feel-good news page that has almost 40 million followers. This is his fifth book.

Santa's Husband

Offering a fresh twist on Kris Kringle, a clever yet heartfelt book that tells the story of a black Santa, his white husband, and their life in the North Pole. Everyone knows that Santa Claus is jolly, but in Santa’s Husband, this cherished symbol of the holiday season is also black and gay, and married to an equally cheery man. In this witty and sweet illustrated Christmas tale, humor writer Daniel Kibblesmith introduces us to Mr. and Mr. Claus, and gives us a glimpse of their lives together. We see the Clauses sitting by the fire at their cozy North Pole home, vacationing at the beach, having an occasional disagreement, celebrating their wedding day, and comforting each other when some loudmouth people on television angrily dispute Santa’s appearance and lifestyle. In the weeks before Christmas, Santa’s husband helps with all the pre-Christmas work, from double-checking lists, to feeding the reindeer (organic gluten-free grains, of course), to negotiating labor disputes with the restive workshop elves. At the height of toy-making season, he even fills in for his busy hubby at the mall to ensure every child can meet the Big Guy in the red suit, and give him their wish list. As this charming book reminds us, Santa Claus can come in all shapes and colors and sizes—just like the children and families he visits all over the world each Christmas eve. Featuring beautiful watercolor pictures drawn by artist AP Quach, Santa’s Husband is a delightful gift for readers of all ages.

Classic Collection of P. G. Wodehouse. Blandings Castle. Novels and Stories. Illustrated

The "Classic Collection of P. G. Wodehouse: Blandings Castle" brings together some of the finest works of the beloved British author, renowned for his wit, humor, and unforgettable characters. This illustrated collection includes iconic stories such as "Summer Lightning," "Leave it to Psmith," "Something Fresh," and the delightful escapades of Lord Emsworth and his beloved pig, the Empress of Blandings. Set in the idyllic and eccentric Blandings Castle, these tales revolve around the humorous misadventures of aristocrats, scheming relatives, and bumbling characters, all orchestrated by Wodehouse's masterful storytelling. The collection showcases the author's signature style, characterized by clever wordplay, absurd situations, and a light-hearted exploration of social norms. Readers will be enchanted by the antics of Psmith, whose charm and wit shine through in every escapade, and the lovable Lord Emsworth, whose passion for his prize pig often leads to comedic chaos. With its delightful blend of humor and charm, this collection is a must-read for both long-time fans of Wodehouse and newcomers eager to discover the whimsical world of Blandings Castle. A true celebration of classic British literature, this anthology captures the essence of Wodehouse's genius and promises to entertain readers of all ages. Contents: Novels: - Something Fresh - Leave it to Psmith - Summer Lightning - Heavy Weather Stories: - The Custody of the Pumpkin - Lord Emsworth Acts for the Best - PIG - HOO - O - O - O - EY! - Company for Gertrude - Lord Emsworth and the Girl Friend

LEWSER!

Following YUGE! and #SAD! , volume three of the Doonesbury Trump Trilogy chronicles the disrupter-in-chief’s massive output of grievance and fear. From the Pulitzer Prize–winning cartoonist whose acclaimed YUGE!: 30 Years of Doonesbury on Trump blew up the bestseller list, G. B. Trudeau’s final installment of his Doonesbury Trump Trilogy takes readers through the dark heart of Trump’s presidency and into 2020 election mania. Including two years’ worth of original Doonesbury Sundays, full-color spreads, and eighteen previously unpublished strips, the presciently-titled LEWSER! chronicles our most recent—and apparently never-ending—national nightmare. “When historians look back on this era, Doonesbury will be as good a record as any of the national zeitgeist.” — Rolling Stone “Why so surprised America? Doonesbury has been preparing us for President Trump since 1987.” — USA Today

Bless Your Heart

Hey, y’all. Welcome to the South! Viral sensation and TikToker Landon Bryant (@LandonTalks) presents his tongue-in-cheek “anthropological dive” into the food, fashion, linguistics, culture, holidays, and traditions of the American South, complete with commentary from famous Southerners, humorous charts, and charming illustrations. “Let’s discuss . . .” These two words began the viral sensation that is @LandonTalks led by the sharp-witted, down-home, Mississippi-born Landon Bryant. If there’s one thing Landon knows, it’s the South. His anthropological dissections of customs and traditions celebrating all things Southern are a mix of humor, history, and head nodding. In his debut book, Landon discusses everything you've ever wanted to know about the South, including why they say the things they say, why they eat the things they eat, and what it really means when someone says, "Bless your heart." Every step of the way, Landon infuses his faux field guide with warmth, whimsy, nostalgia, and his trademark down-to-earth personality with equal measure humor and practical information. If you’ve ever wondered why Southerners are always clutchin’ their pearls or what their affinity is for pecan pie or peanuts and Coke, then this field guide is for you. Learn all about Southern superstitions (think haint blue porches to bottle trees), critter guides (how to spot ’em and how to avoid ’em), to common Southern sayings (“might could” translates to a polite Southern “no”). Chapter by chapter, Landon uses his signature style to study the common Southerner through a voice-driven, heartwarming lens, all the while sending the same message of unity and come-as-you-are hospitality that has made him the indisputable Southern sweetheart of social media.

How to Invent Everything

An NPR Best Book of 2018 " How to Invent Everything is such a cool book. It's essential reading for anyone who needs to duplicate an industrial civilization quickly." --Randall Munroe, xkcd creator and New York Times -bestselling author of What If? The only book you need if you're going back in time What would you do if a time machine hurled you thousands of years into the past. . . and then broke? How would you survive? Could you improve on humanity's original timeline? And how hard would it be to domesticate a giant wombat? With this book as your guide, you'll survive-- and thrive --in any period in Earth's history. Bestselling author and time-travel enthusiast Ryan North shows you how to invent all the modern conveniences we take for granted--from first principles. This illustrated manual contains all the science, engineering, art, philosophy, facts, and figures required for even the most clueless time traveler to build a civilization from the ground up. Deeply researched, irreverent, and significantly more fun than being eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, How to Invent Everything will make you smarter, more competent, and completely prepared to become the most important and influential person ever. You're about to make history. . . better.

Leslie F*cking Jones

WINNER OF THE 2024 AUDIE AWARD FOR HUMOR A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A BARNES AND NOBLE'S BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR A TOWN & COUNTRY BEST CELEBRITY MEMOIR OF 2023 A VULTURE BEST COMEDY BOOK OF 2023 Hey you guys, it’s Leslie. I’m excited to share my story with you. Now, I’m gonna be honest: Some of the details might be vague because a b*tch is fifty-five and she’s smoked a ton of weed. But while bits might be a touch hazy, I can promise you the underlying truth is REAL. Whether I’m talking about my childhood growing up in the South, my early stand-up days driving from gig to gig through the darkest parts of our country and praying I wouldn’t get murdered, what Chris Rock told Lorne Michaels, that time I wanted to shoot Whoopi Goldberg on SNL, and yeah, I’ll tell you all about Ghostbusters and the nudes and Supermarket Sweep and The Daily Show . . . I’m sharing it all in these pages. It’s not easy being a woman in comedy, especially when you’re a tall-*ss Black woman with a trumpet voice. I have to fight so that no one takes me for granted, and no one takes advantage. These are the stories that explain why. (Cue the Law & Order theme.)

Dr. Seuss Goes to War

“A fascinating collection” of wartime cartoons from the beloved children’s author and illustrator ( The New York Times Book Review ). For decades, readers throughout the world have enjoyed the marvelous stories and illustrations of Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss. But few know the work Geisel did as a political cartoonist during World War II, for the New York daily newspaper PM . In these extraordinarily trenchant cartoons, Geisel presents “a provocative history of wartime politics” ( Entertainment Weekly ). Dr. Seuss Goes to War features handsome, large-format reproductions of more than two hundred of Geisel’s cartoons, alongside “insightful” commentary by the historian Richard H. Minear that places them in the context of the national climate they reflect ( Booklist ). Pulitzer Prize–winner Art Spiegelman’s introduction places Seuss firmly in the pantheon of the leading political cartoonists of our time. “A shocker—this cat is not in the hat!” —Studs Terkel

Tee Time in Berzerkistan

No rogue regime ever needed its evildoing professionally reframed more urgently than Greater Berzerkistan, whose president-for-life Trff Bmzklfrpz (pronounced "Ptklm") needs to spin a recent round of ethnic cleansing. Fortunately, the pariah state (and its 50-hole golf course, built overnight by Kurds and Jews) borders Iran, a fact that K Street uberlobbyist Duke is retained to parlay into a major U.S. arms package. Meanwhile, across town, the crumbling of the newspaper industry crushes Rick Redfern's hope of continuing employment. After 35 years at the Washington Post , he is ejected into the blogosphere, where his prose now battles it out with that of 1,186,783,465 rivals, including Roland Hedley, who takes the art of Twittering to a new self-reverential low. Truly, everyone in Doonesburyland is struggling to adapt. While white Washington insiders scramble to acquire some African American friends, longtime black conservative Clyde schemes to score Obama's Blackberry number, Clinton-era Dems are forced to attend the president-elect's "No Drama School," and Jimmy Thudpucker once again reboots his career--this time as a cell phone ring-tone artist. No one ever said change was pretty.

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