Humor - Books - Smurbo

Big Dumb Eyes

From one of the hottest stand-up comedians, Nate Bargatze brings his everyman comedy to the page in this hilarious collection of personal stories, opinions, and confessions. Nate Bargatze used to be a genius. That is, until the summer after seventh grade when he slipped, fell off a cliff, hit his head on a rock, and “my skull got, like, dented or something.” Before this accident, he dreamed of being “an electric engineer, or a doctor that does brain stuff, or a math teacher who teaches the hardest math on earth.” Afterwards, all he could do was stand-up comedy.* But the “brain stuff” industry’s loss is everyone else’s gain because Nate went on to become one of today’s top-grossing comedians, breaking both attendance and streaming records. In his highly anticipated first book, Nate talks about life as a non-genius. From stories about his first car (named Old Blue, a clunky Mazda with a tennis ball stick shift) and his travels as a Southerner (Northerners like to ask if he believes in dinosaurs), to tales of his first apartment where he was almost devoured by rats and his many debates with his wife over his chores, his diet, and even his definition of “shopping.” He also reflects on such heady topics as his irrational passion for Vandy football and the mysterious origins of sushi (how can a California roll come from old-time Japan?). BIG DUMB EYES is full of heart. It will make readers laugh out loud and nod in recognition, but it probably won’t make them think too much. *Nate’s family disputes this entire story.

Everything I Know About Love

New York Times Bestseller Like Bridget Jones’ Diary but all true— a wildly funny, occasionally heartbreaking memoir from the funny, sharp British journalist and podcast host, who Elizabeth Gilbert calls “a sparkling Roman candle of talent.” “The older you get, the more baggage you carry. When you date at twenty-five, everyone walks into the bar with a very neat, light carry-on. When you date from thirty onwards, get ready to meet someone absolutely brimming with history, complications and demands.” When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, writer Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all. In her memoir, she vividly recounts falling in love, finding a job, getting drunk, getting dumped, and that absolutely no one can ever compare to her best girlfriends. Everything I Know About Love is about bad dates, good friends and—above all else— realizing that you are enough. Glittering with wit and insight, heart and humor, Dolly Alderton’s unforgettable debut weaves together personal stories, satirical observations, a series of lists, recipes, and other vignettes that will strike a chord of recognition with women of every age.

That's a Great Question, I'd Love to Tell You

Writer, comedian, and content creator Elyse Myers gets real about life’s awkward moments in her bold, funny, and unfiltered debut book Elyse Myers is known to her twelve million followers as “The Internet’s Best Friend,” sharing her relatable stories and comedic sketches and serving as an advocate for topics such as neurodivergence, impostor syndrome, body image, and more. Whether she’s making people laugh with tales of disastrous dates or giving a voice to that awkward internal monologue many of us have, she has three simple goals behind everything she makes: To make people feel known, loved, and like they belong. In That's a Great Question, I'd Love to Tell You, Elyse delivers a debut collection of deeply personal stories and hand-drawn illustrations, offering even more intimate reflections beyond what fans have seen on her social media, including: Spending 7 Minutes in Heaven accidentally friend-zoning her crushHow Lucy, the Magic 8 Ball keychain, changed her life by accidentMoving from California to Australia to Texas to Nebraska to like (maybe even love!) herselfHow to Fold Hospital Corners in 10 EASY STEPS!—a practical guide and a rumination about…everythingThe “meat cute” when she met her smoke show of a husband at a butcher’s counter in Australia—and how she revealed herself to be an emotional runner Plus, tales involving bad dates and is-this-a-dates; the tempting yet futile urge to reinvent yourself, panic attacks and escape hatches, and favorite pens and systems to use them, all while loving and letting yourself be loved, preferably at the same time.

How to Giggle

Instant New York Times Bestseller | USA TODAY Bestseller From the wildly popular podcast Giggly Squad , best friends Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo share hilarious and heartwarming advice on how to take life a little bit less seriously. Finding joy and laughter in the mundane can be challenging at times, but Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo have mastered the art of not taking life too seriously. Brought together under the bright lights of reality television, these best friends bonded in incredibly intense circumstances. They quickly came to realize that one of the bedrocks of their friendship is their shared experience with social anxiety. As their friendship deepened, they found themselves constantly devolving into laughter, earning them the nickname “The Giggly Squad,” and with that, their superpower—laughing through life’s hardest moments—was born. Their podcast, Giggly Squad , feels like calling your best friend for a long overdue catch-up. No topic is off limits. No subject too small. And, most importantly, nothing is so serious that you can’t find a way to make it seem less scary by poking fun at it. How to Giggle covers topics like: -Overcoming awkward situations -Red flags in female friendships and romantic relationships -Using delusion and manifestation to achieve your goals -Decentering men from your life -And more! Sprinkled with inside jokes and Hannah and Paige’s riotous humor, How to Giggle feels like you’re at a slumber party with your besties giving you juicy advice on sex, flirting, and social media etiquette. You’ll find the nostalgia of your teen magazines with fun, interactive quizzes, and tips like finding your personal style and wellness hacks. If you’re a longtime Giggler or are simply craving some unfiltered advice to get you through hard times, look no further than How to Giggle.

SNAFU

From actor, comedian, writer, and host of the hit history podcast SNAFU, Ed Helms brings you an absurdly entertaining look at history’s biggest blunders, complete with lively illustrations. History contains a plethora of insane screwups—otherwise known as SNAFUs. Coined during World War I, SNAFU is an acronym that stands for Situation Normal: All F*cked Up. In other words, “things are pretty screwed up, but aren’t they always?” Spanning from the 1950’s to the 2000’s, Ed Helms steps in as unofficial history teacher for a deep dive into each decade’s craziest SNAFUs. From planting nukes on the moon to training felines as CIA spies to weaponizing the weather, this book will unpack the incredibly ironic decision-making and hilariously terrifying aftermath of America’s biggest mishaps. Filled with sharp humor, SNAFU is a wild ride through time that not only entertains but offers fresh insights that just might prevent history from repeating itself again and again.

What in the World?!

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This book is the inspirational story that we all need. No one makes me laugh harder than Leanne Morgan!”—Reese Witherspoon The beloved comedy sensation packs a hilarious punch with real talk about what it’s like to be a woman today—from rebelling against the latest diet trends to dealing with perimenopausal mean girls and attending rock concerts in middle age. For a long time, no one pulling the strings in the comedy world thought that a woman over fifty from rural Tennessee could make it in the industry. But Leanne Morgan has defied the odds, reaching millions with her musings on hormones, low-rise britches, Weight Watchers, and her opposites-attract relationship with her husband, Chuck. In her charming southern accent, Morgan brings readers inside her quest to find her voice after spending many years trying to figure out what that meant. Along the way, we learn how she grew up as a butcher’s daughter, landed a husband with health insurance, honed her stand-up technique selling jewelry at house parties, embraced the glories of aging, and surrendered to the comfort of wearing big flesh-toned panties. Equal parts warm and hilarious, this book is a must-read by one of comedy’s rising stars—reminding you that every time life leaves you asking “What in the world?!,” something good is bound to come out of it someday.

How to Piss Off Men

AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER BE NO MAN'S PEACE. Have you ever been badgered by an annoying pick-up artist at the bar? Ever felt a burning desire to emotionally torture a friend’s boyfriend in an act of revenge? Have you ever endured just talking to a man before? If so, then this book is for you. With more than 100 phrases, questions, and comebacks, How to Piss Off Men is your essential guide to sending even the most relentless mansplainer into an existential crisis. Whether it’s referring to his expensive NFL jersey as “cosplay” or letting him know he has the confidence of a much taller man, this handbook will ensure you’re equipped to combat toxic masculinity in any situation.* * The advice in this book has been thoroughly tested for effectiveness. Even on the author, bless his heart.

Class Clown

America’s most beloved wiseass finally tells his life story with all the humor you’d expect from a man who made a career out of making fun of pretty much everything. How does the son of a Presbyterian minister wind up winning a Pulitzer Prize for writing a wildly inaccurate newspaper column read by millions of people? In Class Clown , Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious ride, starting with a childhood largely spent throwing rocks for entertainment—there was no internet—and preparing for nuclear war by hiding under a classroom desk. After literally getting elected class clown in high school, he went to college, where, as an English major, he read snippets of great literature when he was not busy playing in a rock band (it was the sixties). He began his journalism career at a small-town Pennsylvania newspaper where he learned the most important rule of local journalism: never confuse a goose with a duck. His journey then took a detour into the business world, where as a writing consultant he spent years trying, with limited success, to get corporate folks to, for God’s sake, get the point. Somehow from there he wound up as a humor columnist for The Miami Herald , where his boss was a wild man who encouraged him to write about anything that struck him as amusing and to never worry about alienating anyone. His columns were not popular with everyone: He managed to alienate a vast army of Neil Diamond fans, and the entire state of Indiana. But he also developed a loyal following of readers who alerted him to the threat of exploding toilets, not to mention the fire hazards posed by strawberry pop-tarts and Rollerblade Barbie, which he demonstrated to the nation on the David Letterman show. He led his readers on a crusade against telemarketers that ultimately caused the national telemarketers association to stop answering its own phones because it was getting—irony alert—too many unwanted calls. He has also run for president multiple times, although so far without success. He became a book author and joined a literary rock band, which was not good at playing music but did once perform with Bruce Springsteen, who sang backup to Dave. As for his literary merits, Dave writes: “I’ll never have the critical acclaim of, say, Marcel Proust. But was Marcel Proust ever on Carson? Did he ever steal a hotel sign for Oprah?” Class Clown isn’t just a memoir; it’s a vibrant celebration of a life rich with humor, absurdity, joy, and sadness. Dave says the most important wisdom imparted by his Midwestern parents was never to take anything too seriously. This laughter-filled book is proof that he learned that lesson well.

Dracula Daily

The wildly popular email newsletter that has been described as an "internet sensation" ( The New York Times ) and "the coolest book club on the internet" ( Fast Company ) is breathing new life into Bram Stoker's classic vampire novel. Now, the internet phenomenon can be experienced in this deluxe hardcover book that includes hilarious commentary and artwork from Dracula Daily readers. Thanks to Dracula Daily, the email newsletter that delivers the classic vampire novel in bite-sized chunks, "an old story about the undead is getting a new life" ( NPR ). Combining Stoker's original text alongside reader-generated content, this version of Dracula is a fun and immersive experience, perfect for vampire scholars, Dracula Daily readers, and newcomers to the story. Inside, you'll find a rich selection of artwork and memes from the newsletter's hundreds of thousands of subscribers. From comics celebrating Dracula's famous wall-climbing ability to armchair analysis of the novel's complicated love triangles, the witty commentary and colorful fan art brings a unique twist to the classic tale.

Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

Now available for the first time as an e-book! Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat chronicles another segment of the multifarious adventures of this wild child and his faithful, but skeptical, friend. If the best cartoons compel readers to identify themselves within the funny frames, then all who enjoy Calvin and Hobbes are creative, imaginative, and ... bad, bad, bad! Calvin, the irascible little boy with the stuffed tiger who comes to life are a pair bound for trouble. Boring school lessons become occasions for death-defying alien air battles, speeding snow sled descents elicit philosophical discussions on the meaning of life, and Hobbe's natural inclination to pounce on his little friend wreaks havoc on Calvin's sense of security. Calvin's the kid we all wish we'd been. Sassy, imaginative, far more verbal than his parents can manage, Calvin is the quintessential bad boy -- and the boy we love to see. He terrorizes little Susie, offers "Candid Opinions" from a neighborhood stand, and questions his parents' authority. "What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?" he demands. Calvin and Hobbes manages to say what needs to be said about childhood and life: "Eww, mud," says Calvin. "Look at this gooshy, dirty, slimy, thick, wet mud ... Bleecch ... Talk about a kid magnet!"

Naked

In Naked, David Sedaris's message alternately rendered in Fakespeare, Italian, Spanish, and pidgin Greek is the same: pay attention to me. Whether he's taking to the road with a thieving quadriplegic, sorting out the fancy from the extra-fancy in a bleak fruit-packing factory, or celebrating Christmas in the company of a recently paroled prostitute, this collection of memoirs creates a wickedly incisive portrait of an all-too-familiar world. It takes Sedaris from his humiliating bout with obsessive behavior in A Plague of Tics to the title story, where he is finally forced to face his naked self in the mirrored sunglasses of a lunatic. At this soulful and moving moment, he picks potato chip crumbs from his pubic hair and wonders what it all means. This remarkable journey into his own life follows a path of self-effacement and a lifelong search for identity, leaving him both under suspicion and overdressed.

The Eltingville Club

Take-no-prisoners trivia-offs. Pill-fueled Twilight Zone marathons. Fan interventions. Here is the ultimate word on the fugly side of fandom, collecting every Eltingville story from the Dork, House of Fun , and The Eltingville Club #1-2 , comics three of which won the Eisner Award for Best Short Story. Also features the Northwest Comix Collective alt-comics smackdown and an afterword about the 2002 Adult Swim animated pilot. Definitive, complete and unashamed, this is fandom at it's fan-dumbest, in the mighty Eltingville manner!

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk

Featuring David Sedaris's unique blend of hilarity and heart, this new collection of keen-eyed animal-themed tales is an utter delight. Though the characters may not be human, the situations in these stories bear an uncanny resemblance to the insanity of everyday life. In "The Toad, the Turtle, and the Duck," three strangers commiserate about animal bureaucracy while waiting in a complaint line. In "Hello Kitty," a cynical feline struggles to sit through his prison-mandated AA meetings. In "The Squirrel and the Chipmunk," a pair of star-crossed lovers is separated by prejudiced family members. With original illustrations by Ian Falconer, author of the bestselling Olivia series of children's books, these stories are David Sedaris at his most observant, poignant, and surprising.

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

"David Sedaris's ability to transform the mortification of everyday life into wildly entertaining art," ( The Christian Science Monitor ) is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this remarkable new book. Trying to make coffee when the water is shut off, David considers using the water in a vase of flowers and his chain of associations takes him from the French countryside to a hilariously uncomfortable memory of buying drugs in a mobile home in rural North Carolina. In essay after essay, Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life-having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger on a plane or armoring the windows with LP covers to protect the house from neurotic songbirds-to the most deeply resonant human truths. Culminating in a brilliant account of his venture to Tokyo in order to quit smoking, David Sedaris's sixth essay collection is a new masterpiece of comic writing from "a writer worth treasuring" ( Seattle Times ). Praise for When You Are Engulfed in Flames : "Older, wiser, smarter and meaner, Sedaris...defies the odds once again by delivering an intelligent take on the banalities of an absurd life." -- Kirkus Reviews This latest collection proves that not only does Sedaris still have it, but he's also getting better....Sedaris's best stuff will still--after all this time--move, surprise, and entertain." -- Booklist Table of Contents: It's Catching Keeping Up The Understudy This Old House Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie? Road Trips What I Learned That's Amore The Monster Mash In the Waiting Room Solutions to Saturday's Puzzle Adult Figures Charging Toward a Concrete Toadstool Memento Mori All the Beauty You Will Ever Need Town and Country Aerial The Man in the Hut Of Mice and Men April in Paris Crybaby Old Faithful The Smoking Section

Toxic Bible

"Toxic Bible - The Book of Pluto," a playful and insightful journey inspired by the enigmatic figure of Future, the Toxic King. Explore the highs and lows of modern relationships, indulgence, and personal freedom through the lens of Future's iconic lyrics and persona. Inside, discover: - Commandments that push the boundaries of conventional wisdom. - Parables that weave tales of resilience, ambition, and the complexities of love. - Psalms that celebrate hedonism, authenticity, and the pursuit of happiness. - Proverbs offering humorous and thought-provoking insights into life's twists and turns. Whether a die-hard fan of Future or just curious about his cultural impact, "Toxic Bible - The Book of Pluto" offers a unique perspective. Not just a book, but a guide to living life on one's own terms, embracing both the toxic and transformative parts of the journey.

Star Wars Be More Obi-Wan

A fun ebook with inspiration from the galaxy's most cool and composed Jedi Master. Stay true to yourself with confidence and class. Is your new home more hive of villainy than sandy beach resort? Friends not the chosen ones you thought they were? Don't throw a tantrum - keep it classy and ask yourself, "What would Obi-Wan do?" Glide elegantly through anything life throws at you with pearls of wisdom from Obi-Wan Kenobi and fellow sages. Learn how to face your fears and perfect your witty comebacks. © and ™ 2022 Lucasfilm LTD

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

A hilarious #1 bestselling collection of essays from those nearest and dearest to comedian Chelsea Handler--the people she's lied to. "My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate." -- Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

Garfield Hangs Out

Whether he's down on the farm, lost in a world of his own, or camping out with the gang, Garfield always finds a way to keep life interesting. Now, that might be bad news for Jon and Odie, but it's great for the rest of his millions of fans, as Garfield takes the spotlight for his nineteenth star turn! Or, as Garfield might say, when the going gets tough, the tough take a nap.

Rules for Aging

Rule #1: It doesn’t matter. One of USA Today ’s Best Self-Help Books of the Year: “Hilarious.” — People Prize-winning essayist Roger Rosenblatt has commented on some of the most important trends and events of our time in insightful columns in Time and discerning commentaries on PBS Newshour with Jim Lehrer. But at the dawn of a new millennium, Roger found himself facing an issue that he couldn’t talk his way out of: getting old. Luckily, aging couldn’t dull his wit, and he turned his sharp pen to creating a survival manual for the twilight of life. These fifty-four brilliant, funny, and indispensable rules range from how to handle a bad hair day (or a no hair day) to knowing the difference between humor and comedy to learning that, in the end, none of these little worries really matter. Practical, wise, and funny, Rules for Aging offers not only a new mantra for an older generation but “a guide for those in the younger generation who want to learn from the mistakes of their elders” ( Newsday ).

Dear Girls

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Heartfelt and hilarious essays from the Emmy and Golden Globe Award–winning actress, star of the Netflix original series Beef , and two-time member of Time ’s 100 Most Influential People of the Year list “A collection of letters to her baby girls that are barn-burning reflections on being a working mom, marriage, sex, and more. If you’ve ever wanted to have Ali Wong’s signature voice in your head for 200-plus pages, now’s your chance.”— Glamour ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: Time, Variety, Chicago Tribune, Glamour, New York In her hit Netflix comedy special Baby Cobra , an eight-month pregnant Ali Wong resonated so strongly that she even became a popular Halloween costume. Wong told the world her remarkably unfiltered thoughts on marriage, sex, Asian culture, working women, and why you never see new mom comics on stage but you sure see plenty of new dads. The sharp insights and humor are even more personal in this completely original collection. She shares the wisdom she’s learned from a life in comedy and reveals stories from her life off stage, including the brutal single life in New York (i.e. the inevitable confrontation with erectile dysfunction), reconnecting with her roots (and drinking snake blood) in Vietnam, tales of being a wild child growing up in San Francisco, and parenting war stories. Though addressed to her daughters, Ali Wong’s letters are absurdly funny, surprisingly moving, and enlightening (and gross) for all. Praise for Dear Girls “Fierce, feminist, and packed with funny anecdotes.” — Entertainment Weekly “[Wong] spins a volume whose pages simultaneously shock and satisfy. . . . Dear Girls is not so much a real-talk handbook as it is a myth-puncturing manifesto.” —Vogue

Go Ask Ali

New York Times bestselling author Ali Wentworth offers her hilarious and unique advice on surviving the absurdity of modern life in her third collection of laugh-out-loud comic vignettes. Ali Wentworth’s first two books, Ali in Wonderland and Happily Ali After, were lauded by readers, critics, and fellow comedians alike. Entertainment Weekly included Happily Ali After on its "Must List" and hailed it as "hilarious. . . . Her glass isn’t half full—it’s "empty and cracked," while Cosmopolitan praised it as "razor-sharp." Chelsea Handler called Ali in Wonderland "truly hilarious," and Kathy Griffin christened it, "Chicken Soup for the Vagina." Alec Baldwin has described Ali as "funny and warm and crazy all at once. Like Barbara Eden. But on something. Like crystal meth," and Jerry Seinfeld has raved, "Everything that comes out of Ali Wentworth’s mouth is funny!" At once endearing and hilarious, thoughtful and far-fetched, this third collection offers Ali at her wisest and wittiest as she delivers tips, pointers, and quips on a host of life’s conundrums and sticky situations, including the funny, sometimes embarrassing yet unforgettable situations that have shaped her inimitable world view as a wife, mother, actress, comedian, and all around bon vivant. Thoroughly entertaining, Go Ask Ali is packed with thoughts and musings from "the girlfriend you want to have a glass of wine with, the one who makes you laugh because she sees the funny and the absurd in everything" (Huffington Post).

The Noble Hustle

From the two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Underground Railroad and The Nickel Boys • “Whitehead proves a brilliant sociologist of the poker world.” —The Boston Globe In 2011, Grantland magazine gave bestselling novelist Colson Whitehead $10,000 to play at the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. It was the assignment of a lifetime, except for one hitch—he’d never played in a casino tournament before. With just six weeks to train, our humble narrator took the Greyhound to Atlantic City to learn the ways of high-stakes Texas Hold’em. Poker culture, he discovered, is marked by joy, heartbreak, and grizzled veterans playing against teenage hotshots weaned on Internet gambling. Not to mention the not-to-be overlooked issue of coordinating Port Authority bus schedules with your kid’s drop-off and pickup at school. Finally arriving in Vegas for the multimillion-dollar tournament, Whitehead brilliantly details his progress, both literal and existential, through the event’s antes and turns, through its gritty moments of calculation, hope, and spectacle. Entertaining, ironic, and strangely profound, this epic search for meaning at the World Series of Poker is a sure bet. Look for Colson Whitehead’s new novel, Crook Manifesto !

The 50 Funniest American Writers

New York Times Bestseller The creator of The New Yorker ’s long running satirical column, and “one of the funniest people in America,” pays tribute to comedic geniuses both past and present, including Mark Twain, George Saunders, Nora Ephron, and more (CBS Sunday Morning). Library of America’s collection of hilarious stories, essays, and articles is an exclusive Who’s Who of the very best American comic writing. Classic pieces of American humor appear here, such as “The Ransom of Red Chief” by O. Henry and a selection from Anita Loos’ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes . Contemporary writing is well represented, with entries from comedic geniuses like David Sedaris, Larry Willmore, Roy Blount Jr., Sloane Crosby, Bernie Mac, Wanda Sykes, and George Saunders plus laugh-out-loud lesser-known pieces from The New Yorker , Esquire , The Atlantic , National Lampoon , and The Onion . Full List of Contributors Mark Twain George Ade O. Henry Sinclair Lewis Anita Loos Ring Lardner H. L. Mencken James Thurber Dorothy Parker S. J. Perelman Langston Hughes Frank Sullivan E. B. White Peter De Vries Terry Southern Lenny Bruce Tom Wolfe Jean Shepherd Hunter S. Thompson Douglas Kenney Henry Beard Bruce Jay Friedman Philip Roth Nora Ephron Michael O’Donoghue George W. S. Trow Fran Lebowitz Charles Portis Donald Barthelme Veronica Geng John Hughes Mark O’Donnell Garrison Keillor Bruce McCall Molly Ivins Calvin Trillin Dave Barry The Onion writers Susan Orlean Roy Blount Jr George Carlin Ian Frazier David Rakoff Bernie Mac David Sedaris Wanda Sykes Jack Handey David Owen George Saunders Jenny Allen Sloane Crosley Larry Wilmore

Lifeform

AN INSTANT NATIONAL BESTSELLER From actor, comedian, co-creator of Marcel the Shell, and New York Times bestselling author of Little Weirds, Jenny Slate, a wild, soulful, hilarious collection of genre-bending essays depicting the journey into motherhood as you’ve never seen it before. What happened was this: Jenny Slate was a human mammal who sniffed the air every morning hoping to find another person to love who would love her, and in that period there was a deep dark loneliness that she had to face and befriend, and then we are pleased to report that she did fall in love, and in that period she was like chimes, or a flock of clean breaths, and her spine lying flat was the many-colored planks on the xylophone, but also she was rabid with fear of losing this love, because of past injury. And then what happened was that she became a wild-pregnant-mammal-thing and then she exploded herself by having a whole baby blast through her vagina during a global plague and then she was expected to carry on like everything was normal—but was this normal, and had she or anything ever been normal? Herein lies an account of this journey, told in five phases—Single, True Love, Pregnancy, Baby, and Ongoing—through luminous, laugh-out-loud funny, unclassifiable essays that take the form of letters to a doctor, dreams of a stork, fantasy therapy sessions, gossip between racoons, excerpts from an imaginary olden timey play, obituaries, theories about post-partum hair loss, graduation speeches, and more. No one writes like Jenny Slate.

1100+ Clean Jokes For Kids (And Adults of All Ages!)

Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A: On the bottom. Q: What did the flag say to the pole? A: Nothing, it just waved. Q: Why did the belt go to jail? A: It held up a pair of pants. 1100+ Clean Jokes For Kids (and adults of all ages!) is the ultimate collection of laugh out loud jokes for anyone aged from 7-70! Chock full of over 1100 Knock Knock jokes, Questions and Answers, Doctor Doctor, Riddles, One liners and more, this giant book will get the whole family rolling on the floor in fits of laughter! The perfect gift for any child (or adult!)

The Thurber Carnival

“An authentic American genius . . . Mr. Thurber belongs in the great lines of American humorists that includes Mark Twain and Ring Lardner.” — The Philadelphia Inquirer James Thurber’s unique ability to convey the vagaries of life in a funny, witty, and often satirical way earned him accolades as one of the finest humorists of the twentieth century. A bestseller upon its initial publication in 1945, The Thurber Carnival captures the depth of his talent and the breadth of his wit. The stories compiled here, almost all of which first appeared in The New Yorker , are from his uproarious and candid collection My World and Welcome to It —including the American classic “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’—as well as from The Owl in the Attic , The Seal in the Bathroom , and Men, Women and Dogs . Thurber’s take on life, society, and human nature is timeless and will continue to delight readers even as they recognize a bit of themselves in his brilliant sketches. “One of the absolutely essential books of our time.” — Saturday Review of Literature

The Honest Art Dictionary

From the popular @arthistorybabespodcast, “a tidy, helpful and informative guide to what can be a Tower of Babel of art jargon” ( Republican American ). In this art dictionary like no other, The Art History Babes (the hosts behind the prolific podcast) break down the elitist world of art with definitions of over three hundred essential art terms. Art speak is infamously alienating, strange, and confusing as hell. Think stereotypical, stylish art dealers who describe art as ‘derivative’ and ‘dynamic’—or stuffy auction houses filled with portraits of dead white people called ‘Old Masters’. What do these words mean? Where did they come from? And how can you actually use them? The Honest Art Dictionary spans art history, iconic movements, peculiar words, and pretentious phrases. After reading this book, you’ll be able to lay down that art jargon with the best of them. From avant-garde to oeuvre, the Harlem Renaissance to New Objectivity, museum fatigue to memento mori—the Babes use their whip-smart humor, on-point knowledge, and a heavy dose of candor to explain even the most complex ideas in bite-sized, relatable and often humorous definitions. With illustrations from Carmen Casado—The Honest Art Dictionary is a valuable starter pack for those new to the study of art history, those re-exploring the discipline, or those simply interested in impressing their friends during a trip to the local art museum.

Here's What I Need You to Know

Many women have been there: juggling motherhood, a job, volunteer work, and chauffeuring kids to school and sports practices (a job in itself); it's enough to send anyone running for the hills. In Here's What I Need You to Know, wife and mother Shari Franklin shares her own experiences with candor, sincerity, and wit. From last-minute school projects to college applications to marriage frustrations, from insecurity to hilarity to acceptance, this poignant collection of essays presents situations to which many can relate, and provides advice, humor, and comfort for those moments that leave us questioning whether we're doing it right.

The Book of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks

From the popular blog, a hilarious and horrifying survey of quotation mark abuse in all its forms. From the sarcastic to the suggestive, here are quotation marks as we love them best, doing horrible damage to the English language. Who wouldn’t have second thoughts about ordering the “hamburger” on the diner’s menu? Would it be best to skip the “blowout” sale at the department store? What hidden price must be paid for something marked “free”? Assembled by the creator of the wildly popular “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks, this book surveys the havoc wreaked by quotation marks on signs, menus, placards, and posters that leave reality upended by supposed “facts.” This smarty-pants guide is “perfect” for desperate grammarians, habitual air quoters, and anyone who appreciates a good laugh.

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

David Sedaris plays in the snow with his sisters. He goes on vacation with his family. He gets a job selling drinks. He attends his brother's wedding. He mops his sister's floor. He gives directions to a lost traveler. He eats a hamburger. He has his blood sugar tested. It all sounds so normal, doesn't it? In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives -- a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.

The World's Worst Assistant

***An Instant New York Time s Bestselle r*** A Goodreads Choice Nominee for Best Humor Book One of Vulture 's Best Comedy Books of 2022 | One of Business Insider 's Best Books About Celebrities | One of NPR 's Books We Love in 2022 | One of Hudson's Best Books of 2022 | One of Audible's Best of Audiobooks of 2022 From Conan O’Brien’s longtime assistant and cohost of his podcast, Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend , a completely hilarious and irreverent how-to guide for becoming a terrible, yet unfireable employee, spilling her trade secrets for minimizing effort while maximizing the rewards. Sona Movsesian didn’t wake up one day and decide to become the World’s Worst Assistant. Achieving such greatness is a gradual process--one that starts with long hours and hard work before it eventually descends into sneaking low-dosage edibles into your lunch and napping on your boss’s couch. With a foreword from Conan O’Brien, The World’s Worst Assistant is populated with hysterical black-and-white illustrations, comics, and more. It’s a mixture of how-tos (like How to Nap at Work and How to Watch TV at Your Desk), tips for becoming untouchable (like memorizing social security and credit card numbers and endearing yourself to friends and family), and incredible personal stories from Sona’s twelve years spent working for Conan that put their adorable closeness and professional dysfunction on display. In these pages, Sona will explain her descent from eager, hard-working, ambitious, detail-orientated assistant to self-awarded title-holder for the worst in history. This book is irresistible fun you’ll want to give to every young professional in your life. For readers of heartfelt humor like that of Phoebe Robinson and Colin Jost, The World’s Worst Assistant is a chance for fans, viewers, and listeners of Conan’s shows and podcast to fall in love with Sona and Conan all over again.

Simon's Cat vs. the World

The world’s favorite cat faces his biggest series of challenges yet, as he takes on the whole globe! With over 360 million hits on YouTube, Simon’s Cat is a genuine word-of-mouth phenomenon. Fans from all over the world have fallen for this adorable but anarchic feline who will do just about anything to be fed. Simon Tofield’s beautiful drawings and warm humor come alive on the page in this irresistibly charming book—an outgrowth of the enormously popular short films featured on YouTube. Simon’s Cat proved his authority in the house. He returned victorious from his adventures beyond the garden fence. He prevailed after the chaotic arrival of a new kitten in Simon’s Cat in Kitten Chaos . Now he takes on the world! Illustrated in glorious full color, this volume explodes from the page with mesmerizing levels of detail. This is a fixed-format ebook, which preserves the design and layout of the original print book.

Be a Man

A Tik Tok, Instagram, and podcast sensation, The Be a Man Guy discusses what it takes to Be a Man in this funny and insightful book. Sharing stories, vignettes, anecdotes, and pearls of wisdom, Be a Man celebrates and pokes fun at the strengths and flaws of men today, offering timeless advice on How to Be a Man, including: * Never ask for directions, or use a GPS, just drive around forever. * Fall asleep watching TV, then get pissed off when somebody changes the channel. * If you can’t fix something, chuck a wrench. * If you can’t find what you’re looking for in a store, don’t ask for help. Walk out. * When your dog dies, hand dig its grave. After all he was your best friend. The Be a Man Guy also takes readers into his early years, from learning math from his uncle the bookie to discovering deep truths about life from the patrons who drank and gambled at his family’s bar in East Boston. Whether in stories or one liners, The Be a Man Guy will make you laugh and shake your head in recognition. Be a Man: The Ultimate Guide lets men of the world (and the women that might live with them) know that they are not alone.

Successful Failure

New York Times bestselling author and viral stand-up star Kevin Fredericks (aka KevOnStage) turns his most cringe-worthy moments into comedy gold, sharing how the most embarrassing failures of his life put him on the path to success. As a kid, Kevin Fredericks noticed something useful: If he made people laugh, the grown-ups would let him stay up late. In church plays, his commitment to the role of Goliath led to a busted lip, and the audience couldn’t get enough. He dreamed of becoming a performer, of finding that big break that would launch him into the bright lights of pop culture fame. But as he soon found, the road to the life we want is longer, weirder, more embarrassing, and more entertaining than we think it will be. In Successful Failure, the NAACP Image Award–winning comedian recounts hilarious stories and sincere insight from his adventures (and misadventures) trying to make it in life. From performing under an alias to avoid getting fired from his suit-and-tie day job to breaking a chair onstage and quitting stand-up for six months, from pooping his pants on a bus next to his future wife to starting a clothing line called Dreams Don’t Die (they sure do if the merch doesn’t sell), Kevin reminds readers that while we might not be The Rock, Warren Buffett, or Kevin Hart, we’re all out here trying, and that’s okay. Laugh-out-loud in one moment and perceptive in the next, Successful Failure is a wild ride from one of America’s funniest comics and a sendup of our ideals around hustle culture and success.

My Horizontal Life

In this raucous collection of personal stories, the bestselling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

The Birding Dictionary

With birding more popular than ever, this clever pocket-sized guide is a unique gift that celebrates the obsession with hilarious definitions and clever illustrations of terms that birders know and love. Acclaimed science communicator and cartoonist Rosemary Mosco offers a clever, humorous gift that's perfect for any birdwatching obsessive in The Birding Dictionary . It is a “dictionary” filled with hilarious and informative definitions for more than 200 birding terms, plus over 50 witty full‑color illustrations. Terms range from bird species, anatomy, and behaviors to the insider birdwatching jargon that all birders know and speak fluently, from "alpha code" to "zygodactyl." With equal parts quirky humor, accessible science, and impulse giftability, The Birding Dictionary is the latest in Workman’s legendary “pocket dictionary” series, which includes Golfing, Skiing, Sailing, and others, with a whopping 2.5 million copies in print.

My Anecdotal Life

More than once, Carl Reiner has had friends say, "Hey, Reiner, you ought to write those things down." And at eighty, he finally has. In this funny and engaging memoir, one of the best raconteurs on the planet recalls his life in show business in short comic takes. Reiner tells of how, after answering an ad for free acting classes on his brother Charlie's advice, he forsakes a budding career as a machinist for an acting career. In "Sidney Bechet and His Jazz Band Meet Franz Kafka," he captivates the legendary jazz man and his band with an unusual reading of The Metamorphosis , during a thunderstorm at a Catskills resort in 1942. Reiner also recalls the highlights of the succeeding decades: his first sweaty audition, impersonating a dog impersonating movie stars; his forays into the theater; his work on Your Show of Shows and The Dick Van Dyke Show during TV's golden days; and his long friendship and collaboration with Mel Brooks which gave birth to the Two Thousand Year Old Man. In "A Recipe to Remember," he recites a recipe for cream cheese cookies to a star-studded audience that includes Paul Newman, Leonard Bernstein, and Barbra Streisand. In "The Gourmet Eating Club," he gives an insider's take on the now-legendary group that included Mario Puzo, Joseph Heller, Zero Mostel, and other luminaries. Mary Tyler Moore, Sid Caesar, Mickey Rooney, Johnny Carson, Cary Grant, Dinah Shore, Ann Bancroft, Jean Renoir – the list goes on and on – also appear in what Reiner calls the "literary variety show" that captures the highs and lows of his extraordinary life. Through it all, Reiner displays the wit and warmth that have made him one of the most beloved figures in the entertainment business. This charming memoir will delight anyone who wants a behind-the-scenes look at five decades of Hollywood and television history.

No Pun Intended

No Pun Intended by Will Livingston is a delightful book that is sure to tickle the funny bone of any reader. This book is a collection of hilarious puns, wordplays, and witty jokes that will leave you laughing out loud. Whether you're looking for a great gift for Mother's Day or Teacher Appreciation Day, No Pun Intended is the perfect choice. It's a fun and entertaining read that will brighten anyone's day and bring a smile to their face. This book is filled with clever puns that are sure to make you laugh and think at the same time. With its playful language and clever humor, No Pun Intended is a great way to take a break from the stresses of everyday life and just have a good time. The author, Will Livingston, is a master of wordplay and has created a collection of puns that will leave you rolling with laughter. His unique sense of humor is perfect for anyone who loves clever jokes and puns. Overall, No Pun Intended is a wonderful book that is perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh. Whether you're looking for a gift for your mom, teacher, or just want to treat yourself to a fun read, this book is sure to please. So, grab a copy today and get ready to laugh!

The Devil's Candy

"A definitive portrait of the madness of big-time moviemaking" ( Newsweek ), now the basis for the new season of TCM's hit podcast, "The Plot Thickens" and featuring a new afterword by the author When Brian De Palma agreed to allow Julie Salamon unlimited access to the film production of Tom Wolfe's best-selling book The Bonfire of the Vanities , both director and journalist must have felt like they were on to something big. How could it lose? But instead Salamon got a front-row seat at the Hollywood disaster of the decade. She shadowed the film from its early stages through the last of the eviscerating reviews, and met everyone from the actors to the technicians to the studio executives. They'd all signed on for a blockbuster, but there was a sense of impending doom from the start--heart-of-gold characters replaced Wolfe's satiric creations; affable Tom Hanks was cast as the patrician heel; Melanie Griffith appeared mid-shoot with new, bigger breasts. With a keen eye and ear, Salamon shows us how the best of intentions turned into a legendary Hollywood debacle. The Devil's Candy joins John Gregory Dunne's The Studio, Steven Bach's Final Cut, and William Goldman's Adventures in the Screen Trade as a classic for anyone interested in the workings of Hollywood. With a new afterword profiling De Palma ten years after the movie's devastating flop (and this book's best-selling publication), Julie Salamon has created a riveting insider's portrait of an industry where art, talent, ego, and money combine and clash on a monumental scale.

Lessons From Lucy

In this “little gem” ( Washington Independent Review of Books ), Pulitzer Prize–winning columnist and New York Times bestselling author Dave Barry learns how to age happily from his old but joyful dog, Lucy. As Dave Barry turns seventy—not happily—he realizes that his dog, Lucy, is dealing with old age far better than he is. She has more friends, fewer worries, and way more fun. So Dave decides to figure out how Lucy manages to stay so happy, to see if he can make his own life happier by doing the things she does (except for drinking from the toilet). He reconnects with old friends and tries to make new ones—which turns out to be a struggle, because Lucy likes people a lot more than he does. And he gets back in touch with two ridiculous but fun groups from his past: the Lawn Rangers, a group of guys who march in parades pushing lawnmowers and twirling brooms (alcohol is involved), and the Rock Bottom Remainders, the world’s oldest and least-talented all-author band. With each new lesson, Dave riffs hilariously on dogs, people, and life in general, while also pondering Deep Questions, such as when it’s okay to lie. (Answer: when scallops are involved.) Lessons From Lucy shows you a new side to Dave Barry that’s “touching and sentimental, but there’s still a laugh on every page” ( The Sacramento Bee ). The master humorist has written a witty and affable guide to joyous living at any age.

I Feel Bad About My Neck

#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A candid, hilarious look at women of a certain age and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself. “Wickedly witty ... Crackling sharp ... Fireworks shoot out [of this collection].” — The Boston Globe With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as an older woman. Utterly courageous, uproariously funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a scrumptious, irresistible treat of a book, full of truths, laugh out loud moments that will appeal to readers of all ages.

Happy-Go-Lucky

David Sedaris, the “champion storyteller,” ( Los Angeles Times ) returns with his first new collection of personal essays since the bestselling Calypso Back when restaurant menus were still printed on paper, and wearing a mask—or not—was a decision made mostly on Halloween, David Sedaris spent his time doing normal things. As Happy-Go-Lucky opens, he is learning to shoot guns with his sister, visiting muddy flea markets in Serbia, buying gummy worms to feed to ants, and telling his nonagenarian father wheelchair jokes. But then the pandemic hits, and like so many others, he’s stuck in lockdown, unable to tour and read for audiences, the part of his work he loves most. To cope, he walks for miles through a nearly deserted city, smelling only his own breath. He vacuums his apartment twice a day, fails to hoard anything, and contemplates how sex workers and acupuncturists might be getting by during quarantine. As the world gradually settles into a new reality, Sedaris too finds himself changed. His offer to fix a stranger’s teeth rebuffed, he straightens his own, and ventures into the world with new confidence. Newly orphaned, he considers what it means, in his seventh decade, no longer to be someone’s son. And back on the road, he discovers a battle-scarred America: people weary, storefronts empty or festooned with Help Wanted signs, walls painted with graffiti reflecting the contradictory messages of our time: Eat the Rich. Trump 2024. Black Lives Matter. In Happy-Go-Lucky, David Sedaris once again captures what is most unexpected, hilarious, and poignant about these recent upheavals, personal and public, and expresses in precise language both the misanthropy and desire for connection that drive us all. If we must live in interesting times, there is no one better to chronicle them than the incomparable David Sedaris.

Parliament of Whores

A #1 New York Times bestseller: “An everyman’s guide to Washington” by the savagely funny political humorist and author of How the Hell Did This Happen? ( The New York Times ). P. J. O’Rourke’s Parliament of Whores has become a classic in understanding the workings of the American political system. Originally written at the end of the Reagan era, this new edition includes an extensive foreword by renowned journalist Andrew Ferguson—showing us that although the names may change, the game stays the same . . . or, occasionally, gets worse. Parliament of Whores is a “gonzo civics book” that takes us through the ethical foibles, pork-barrel flimflam, and Beltway bureaucracy, leaving no sacred cow unskewered and no politically correct sensitivities unscorched ( Chicago Tribune ). “Insulting, inflammatory, profane, and absolutely great reading.” — The Washington Post Book World

If I Were God

What if God decided to set the record straight? In His first-ever direct written communication to mankind, Almighty God Himself provides a hilariously insightful critique of the religious beliefs and practices of Earth's inhabitants. If I Were God: How I Would Have Done It will appeal to atheists, agnostics, and believers of all stripes, including religious philosophers, apologists, and others interested in the interplay of religious studies, sociology, and science. Narrated by God Himself, If I Were God: How I Would Have Done It is a laugh-out-loud, edgy, yet kindhearted exploration of the beliefs of major world religions with a particular emphasis on Christianity, humorously challenging the arguments of renowned philosophers and apologists like Saint Augustine, Saint Anselm, Saint Thomas Aquinas, C.S. Lewis, William Lane Craig, Francis Collins, and Alvin Plantinga. The basic beliefs and teachings of Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism do not escape God's witty critique. Organized religions' penchant for early childhood indoctrination receives especially withering commentary. Join God on a journey of truth and humor while embracing life's uncertainties and resisting the urge to claim ultimate knowledge. If I Were God: How I Would Have Done It is your guide to a more thoughtful, humorous, and open-minded approach to the age-old question of God's existence and how religious groups behave in the face of insufficient evidence.

The Days Are Just Packed

Now available for the first time as an e-book! Calvin, the self-proclaimed "Boy of Destiny," continues to save the universe with his alter egos, Spaceman Spiff and Stupendous Man, at least until Miss Wormwood or his mother bring him back to reality. Susie, Calvin's nemesis and love interest, remains Calvin's favorite target. And when he's not recovering from a ferocious tiger attack, Calvin creates hideous snowmen, plays a moral cat-and-mouse game with Santa, conducts his infamous Dad polls, and combats the monsters under his bed.

Disappointing Affirmations

USA Today Bestseller Disappointing Affirmations hilariously counters the culture of relentless toxic positivity with a realistic take on a disappointing world where failure is always an option, but that’s okay. From the creator of the wildly popular Instagram account @disappointingaffirmations. Pairing lovely vacation photos taken by the author himself with sayings that are amusingly self-critical, encouraging, disillusioned, or all three at once, Tarnowski points to feelings commonly unacknowledged or hidden and spotlights them with humor, wit, and empathy. You can do it! But you probably won’t. But also: Be kind to yourself, a*****e. Transforming and re-envisioning the material for print while adding tons of new work, this is the funny-because-it’s-true, sneaky self-help gift book for anyone who isn’t happy all the time and doesn’t feel seen in the whole “positive mental attitude” culture. Unfollow your dreams! Like a non-disappointing gift with purchase, the book's jacket folds out into a motivational poster, suitable for display anywhere disappointment may strike. IT REALLY IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY: People say, “It’s okay to not be okay,” but then it feels like they need you to be okay. This subversively funny book is the perfect way to remind ourselves, or anyone who needs it, that it's better to deal with our feelings honestly than fall into the “positive vibes only” self-help trap. COMEDY FOR A NEW ERA: Wellness has been slowly taking a darker turn in popular culture, and comedy is no exception. From Inside by Bo Burnham to the absurdity of TV giant Succession, audiences are drawn to media that embraces discomfort rather than drowning it out. Disappointing Affirmations may not look very comforting, but not all self-care comes in the form of warm hugs and sunrise yoga. FOR HUMOR BOOK FANS: Seeking a gift for the anti-optimist in your life? This one fits the bill for fans of satirical doom classics and self-help antidotes such as All My Friends Are Dead, Am I Overthinking This?, the Worst Case Scenario series, and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. THERE’S MORE: See also the accompanying stationery and gift items, including Disappointing Affirmations Wall Calendar , Disappointing Affirmations Pencils , Disappointing Affirmations: 30 Postcards , Disappointing Affirmations Sticker Book , and Disappointing Affirmations: The Game . You won’t be disappointed. Perfect for: College grads, people entering the workforce, people who wish they hadn’t entered the workforce Fans of the @disappointingaffirmations Instagram account Anyone who isn't always cheerful and doesn't feel seen Fans of satire and sarcastic humor Anyone feeling burnout, empathy fatigue, positivity fatigue, or fatigue in general

What If? 2

AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! An NPR Best Book of 2022 "The questions throughout What If? 2 are equal parts brilliant, gross, and wonderfully absurd and the answers are thorough, deeply researched, and great fun. . . . Science isn’t easy, but in Munroe’s capable hands, it surely can be fun." — TIME The #1 New York Times bestselling author of What If? and How To answers more of the weirdest questions you never thought to ask The millions of people around the world who read and loved What If? still have questions, and those questions are getting stranger. Thank goodness xkcd creator Randall Munroe is here to help. Planning to ride a fire pole from the Moon back to Earth? The hardest part is sticking the landing. Hoping to cool the atmosphere by opening everyone’s freezer door at the same time? Maybe it’s time for a brief introduction to thermodynamics. Want to know what would happen if you rode a helicopter blade, built a billion-story building, made a lava lamp out of lava, or jumped on a geyser as it erupted? Okay, if you insist. Before you go on a cosmic road trip, feed the residents of New York City to a T. rex, or fill every church with bananas, be sure to consult this practical guide for impractical ideas. Unfazed by absurdity, Munroe consults the latest research on everything from swing-set physics to airliner catapult–design to answer his readers’ questions, clearly and concisely, with illuminating and occasionally terrifying illustrations. As he consistently demonstrates, you can learn a lot from examining how the world might work in very specific extreme circumstances.

Brain Droppings

Sometimes, a little brain damage can help. A book of original humor pieces by beloved comic George Carlin. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny. Also included are two timeless monologues, "A Place for Your Stuff" and "Baseball-Football." Readers will get an inside look into Carlin's mind, and they won't be disappointed by what they find: I buy stamps by mail. It works OK until I run out of stamps. What year did Jesus Christ think it was? A tree: first you chop it down, then you chop it up. Have you ever noticed the lawyer is always smiling more than the client? I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed. If you ever have chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other? Carlin demolishes everyday values and yet leaves you laughing out loud.

Bless Your Heart

Hey, y’all. Welcome to the South! Viral sensation and TikToker Landon Bryant (@LandonTalks) presents his tongue-in-cheek “anthropological dive” into the food, fashion, linguistics, culture, holidays, and traditions of the American South, complete with commentary from famous Southerners, humorous charts, and charming illustrations. “Let’s discuss . . .” These two words began the viral sensation that is @LandonTalks led by the sharp-witted, down-home, Mississippi-born Landon Bryant. If there’s one thing Landon knows, it’s the South. His anthropological dissections of customs and traditions celebrating all things Southern are a mix of humor, history, and head nodding. In his debut book, Landon discusses everything you've ever wanted to know about the South, including why they say the things they say, why they eat the things they eat, and what it really means when someone says, "Bless your heart." Every step of the way, Landon infuses his faux field guide with warmth, whimsy, nostalgia, and his trademark down-to-earth personality with equal measure humor and practical information. If you’ve ever wondered why Southerners are always clutchin’ their pearls or what their affinity is for pecan pie or peanuts and Coke, then this field guide is for you. Learn all about Southern superstitions (think haint blue porches to bottle trees), critter guides (how to spot ’em and how to avoid ’em), to common Southern sayings (“might could” translates to a polite Southern “no”). Chapter by chapter, Landon uses his signature style to study the common Southerner through a voice-driven, heartwarming lens, all the while sending the same message of unity and come-as-you-are hospitality that has made him the indisputable Southern sweetheart of social media.

You Can't Have It All

THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From New York Times bestselling author, OG Vanderpump Rules star, and host of the successful podcast Stassi , a “raw, relatable…brutally funny” ( Bustle ) guide to rethinking the girlboss life, taking the pressure off, and the lessons Stassi Schroeder’s learned since becoming a mom of two. Before she wrote Off with My Head , a book about hitting what felt like rock bottom, Stassi Schroeder was writing an entirely different story: a basic bitch’s guide on how to be a—wait for it—“girlboss.” But then 2020 came along and after a global pandemic, losing her job, becoming a mom, and getting married, suddenly, being a girlboss wasn’t the vibe. Instead of giving up, Stassi grew and learned from her mistakes (you know, just standard evolution). After two and a half years in limbo, Stassi was ready to launch her career again. She’d come a long way from that temperamental “Season One Stassi.” She’d gained a new perspective on what she wants out of life: to carve a path for herself, on her terms. The thing is, all this pressure to “have it all” while girlbossing it up…it’s exhausting, and Stassi isn’t sure it’s the ticket to happiness that we all thought it was. That’s truly what this book is about: the desire for joy, and accepting that you may not be the “perfect” parent/partner/friend/human—and that’s okay! Instead of letting mom guilt or work guilt get her down, Stassi encourages us all to take the pressure off, give ourselves grace, and lean into the things that bring us happiness. And if you need a little sauvignon blanc or Aperol spritz to get you through the tough days…cheers!

How to Be Perfect

From the creator of The Good Place and the cocreator of Parks and Recreation , a hilarious, thought-provoking guide to living an ethical life, drawing on 2,400 years of deep thinking from around the world. Most people think of themselves as “good,” but it’s not always easy to determine what’s “good” or “bad”—especially in a world filled with complicated choices and pitfalls and booby traps and bad advice. Fortunately, many smart philosophers have been pondering this conundrum for millennia and they have guidance for us. With bright wit and deep insight, How to Be Perfect explains concepts like deontology, utilitarianism, existentialism, ubuntu, and more so we can sound cool at parties and become better people. Schur starts off with easy ethical questions like “Should I punch my friend in the face for no reason?” (No.) and works his way up to the most complex moral issues we all face. Such as: Can I still enjoy great art if it was created by terrible people? How much money should I give to charity? Why bother being good at all when there are no consequences for being bad? And much more. By the time the book is done, we’ll know exactly how to act in every conceivable situation, so as to produce a verifiably maximal amount of moral good. We will be perfect, and all our friends will be jealous. OK, not quite. Instead, we’ll gain fresh, funny, inspiring wisdom on the toughest issues we face every day.

The Zombie Survival Guide

From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, World War Z , The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain. Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack 1. Organize before they rise! 2. They feel no fear, why should you? 3. Use your head: cut off theirs. 4. Blades don’t need reloading. 5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair. 6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it. 7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike. 8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert! 9. No place is safe, only safer. 10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on. Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.

My Man Jeeves

Jeeves presents the ideal image of the gentleman, being highly competent, dignified, and respectful. Incredibly knowledgeable about topics ranging from horse racing to history, Jeeves has an encyclopedic knowledge of literature and academic subjects. He frequently quotes from Shakespeare and the romantic poets. Well informed about members of the British aristocracy thanks to the club book of the Junior Ganymede Club, he also seems to have a considerable number of useful connections among various servants. Jeeves uses his knowledge and connections to solve problems inconspicuously. Contents: Leave it to Jeeves Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest Jeeves and the Hard-boiled Egg Absent Treatment Helping Freddie Rallying Round Old George Doing Clarence a Bit of Good The Aunt and the Sluggard

Next Level Basic

Discover how to embrace your best basic self in this instant New York Times bestselling, laugh-out-loud hilarious, and “refreshing to read” ( The Cut ) guidebook from the breakout star of Bravo’s hit reality show Vanderpump Rules. Millions of Vanderpump Rules viewers and podcast listeners know Stassi Schroeder as a major defender of Basic Bitch rights. There’s nothing more boring than people who take themselves too seriously. Stassi champions the things that many of us are afraid to love publicly for fear of being labeled basic: lattes, pugs, bubbly cocktails, millennial pink, #OOTD (outfit of the day, obvs), astrology, hot dogs, the perfect pair of Louboutins, romantic comedies...the list goes on and on. “There’s something for everyone under Schroeder’s big basic umbrella” ( Elle ) and in Next Level Basic, the reality star, podcast queen, and ranch dressing expert gives you hilarious and pointed lessons on how to have fun and celebrate yourself, with exclusive stories from her own life and on the set of Vanderpump Rules . From her very public breakups to her most intimate details about her plastic surgery, Stassi shares her own personal experiences with her trademark honesty—all with the hope you can learn something from them.

Theft by Finding

One of the most anticipated books of 2017: Boston Globe, New York Times Book Review , New York 's "Vulture", The Week , Bustle, BookRiot An NPR Best Book of 2017 An AV Club Favorite Book of 2017 A Barnes & Noble Best Book of 2017 A Goodreads Choice Awards nominee David Sedaris tells all in a book that is, literally, a lifetime in the making. For forty years, David Sedaris has kept a diary in which he records everything that captures his attention-overheard comments, salacious gossip, soap opera plot twists, secrets confided by total strangers. These observations are the source code for his finest work, and through them he has honed his cunning, surprising sentences. Now, Sedaris shares his private writings with the world. Theft by Finding , the first of two volumes, is the story of how a drug-abusing dropout with a weakness for the International House of Pancakes and a chronic inability to hold down a real job became one of the funniest people on the planet. Written with a sharp eye and ear for the bizarre, the beautiful, and the uncomfortable, and with a generosity of spirit that even a misanthropic sense of humor can't fully disguise, Theft By Finding proves that Sedaris is one of our great modern observers. It's a potent reminder that when you're as perceptive and curious as Sedaris, there's no such thing as a boring day .

God, No!

The New York Times bestselling reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments from the larger, louder half of the world-famous magic duo Penn & Teller. A scathingly funny reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments from the larger, louder half of world-famous magic duo Penn and Teller reveals an atheist's experience in the world: from performing on the Vegas strip with Siegfried and Roy to children and fatherhood to his ongoing dialogue with proselytizers of the Christian Right and the joys of sex while scuba-diving, Penn has an outrageous sense of humor and a brilliantly entertaining opinion on, well, anything you care to think of.

Garfield at Large

Like every great lasagna, Garfield was born in the kitchen of an Italian restaurant on a winter's night in 1978, while outside snow fell like grated Parmesan cheese. He weighed five pounds, six ounces at birth--that's big for a kitten!--and right from the start showed a passion for Italian food. The restaurant owner, forced to choose between Garfield and closing his doors for lack of pasta, sold Garfield to a pet store. Garfield thought he was a goner until Jon Arbuckle walked in the door. The rest is history.

I'll Just Be Five More Minutes

A hilariously-honest, heartwarming essay collection about life, love, and discovering you have ADHD at age 35 Despite being a published writer with a family, a gaggle of internet fans, and (most shockingly) a mortgage, Emily Farris could never get her sh*t together. As she saw it, disorganization was one of her countless character flaws—that is until she was diagnosed with ADHD at age 35. Like many girls who go undiagnosed, Emily grew up internalizing criticisms about her impulsivity and lack of follow-through. She held onto that shame as she tried (and often failed) to fit into a world designed for neurotypical brains. I'll Just Be Five More Minutes is a personal essay collection of laugh-out-loud-funny, tear-jerking, and at times cringey true stories of Emily's experiences as a neurodivergent woman. With the newfound knowledge of her ADHD, Emily candidly reexamines her complicated relationships (including one with a celebrity stalker), her money problems, the years she spent unknowingly self-medicating, and her hyperfixations (two words: decorative baskets). A memoir-in-essays both entertaining and enlightening, I'll Just Be Five More Minutes is for people with ADHD, as well as those who know and love them. This is a powerful collection of deeply relatable, wide-ranging stories about a woman's right to control her own body, about overwhelm and oversharing, about drinking too much and sleeping too little, and about being misunderstood by the people closest to you. At its heart, I’ll Just Be Five More Minutes is about not quite fitting in and not really understanding why—something we’ve all felt whether we're neurodivergent or not.

Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday!

From Emmy Award–winning, world-famous magician Penn Jillette comes an irreverent, hilarious, and provocative book of essays—the perfect gift for the skeptic in your life. Let's be honest—nobody has more fun than atheists. Don't believe it? Well, consider this: For non-believers, every day you're alive is a day to celebrate! And no one celebrates life to the fullest like Penn Jillette, the larger, louder half of legendary magic duo Penn & Teller, whose spectacularly witty and sharply observant essays in Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! will entertain zealots and skeptics alike. Whether he's contemplating the possibility of life after death, deconstructing popular Christmas carols, or just calling bullsh*t on Donald Trump, Jillette does not fail to shock and delight his readers. And as ever, underneath these rollicking rants lie a deeply personal philosophy and a generous spirit, which find joy and meaning in family, and peace in the simple beauty of the everyday. Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! is a hysterical affirmation of life's magic from one of the most distinctly perceptive and provocative humorists writing today.

The Odd 1s Out

Now a new Netflix series, Oddballs ! Instant New York Times bestseller · Hilarious stories and advice about the ups and downs of growing up, from a popular YouTube artist and storyteller. Like any shy teen turned young adult, YouTube star James Rallison ("The Odd 1s Out") is used to being on the outside looking in. He wasn't partying in high school or winning football games like his older brother. Instead, he posted comics on the Internet. Now, he's ready to share his hard-earned advice from his 21 years of life in the funny, relatable voice his fans love. In this illustrated collection, Rallison tells his own stories of growing up as the "odd one out": in art class with his twin sister (she was more talented), in the middle school locker room, and up to one strange year of college (he dropped out). Each story is filled with the little lessons he picked up along the way, serious and otherwise, like: * How to be cool (in seventh grade) * Why it's OK to be second-best at something, and * How to survive your first, confidence-killing job interviews Filled with fan-favorite comics and never-before-seen material, this tongue-in-cheek take on some of the weirdest, funniest parts of life is perfect for both avid followers and new converts.

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